Schizophrenia.com

Need advice

I have a newer friend who doesn’t know what’s going on with me. I met her via my best friend. She doesn’t understand why I’m not working and I think she judges me for it. I don’t know how I should handle it.

I have trouble reading, remembering, and thinking clearly. I often space out, and I can dissociate at times. I’m very paranoid and work stress increases that. What should I do?

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Its a struggle to concentrate, and think, with our disorder(s).

Best advice I’ve received/given is to just work at your own pace.

Dont be a people pleaser, concentrate on what is best for YOU.

Hope this helps.

:raised_hands:

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Thanks @DNA. I’ll take that into consideration

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If she is judging, she isn’t much of a friend.

It’s really no one’s business why someone isn’t working. But if you want to, say you’re disabled and don’t want to discuss it further.

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I’m very open about my diagnosis. I would explain that the stress of working makes your symptoms worse and you need to take care of yourself by keeping your stress as low as possible. If she doesn’t want to stay friends because of your diagnosis then it’s better you find out now. You know there’s nothing wrong with the way you are. You’re a wonderful person. If someone can’t see that it’s their loss really.

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I’m going through exactly the same thing with my friends (and have similar impairments). It’s always really awkward trying to explain and I struggle to open up to people about my challenges with work and everyday life. I guess it’s nobody’s business though, but people always seem to want to talk about working. I would aim to be direct about not working due to disability and hopefully that stops further questions on the matter and you can talk about something else. I struggle to be direct, so it’s easier said than done.

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I’m not sure if she is judging you but in general that’s why we shouldn’t judge people. We never know what others are going through. I think she’d be shocked to know you’re coping with sz. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to with her but sooner or later she will probably realize and if she was judging, feel bad :pensive:

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Thanks @leafy 1515

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Thanks @Schwann

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Thanks @the_fool

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i myself would prob tell them that i am suffering from sz and that it makes it not possible to work.

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She has made disparaging comments about people with sz. She thinks they’re all violent and manipulative. I’m not comfortable telling her for that reason

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Just find another friend then. I left a friend bcz he was judgemental towards sz. I acted inapproritately with him while off meds and since then he blames me for mistreating him. I dont talk to him anymore except when my other friends invite him into our videochat.

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He said I am using sz as an excuse to my inappropriate behavior.

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Are you sure she’s judging you for it? It’s common for a married woman not to work.

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As a married woman who does not work,

I have to disagree.

Most women work.

It’s odd when you don’t and are deemed “just a housewife”.

We’re rare.

As far as @Zannah’s problem goes.

Sometimes I lie about having seasonal work that isn’t on right now,

Sometimes I just say I don’t work and change the subject.

It’s a tough one to navigate but I echo what others have said about if she’s judgmental, she’s not a friend worth having.

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I just did a search and I guess you’re right married women do work mostly. My brothers wife doesn’t work and I didn’t think twice about it.

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Yeah, I see where the OP has a problem.

Women judge other women who don’t work.

It’s a feminist thing that doesn’t work in my favor.

I think that, anyway.

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I don’t think you need to be friends with this person tbh and you don’t have to explain why you’re not working. I guess if it were me I would say I’m not working right now because of situations outside my control and I don’t feel like talking about it right now.

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You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. Let her be curious, and not have an answer. Chances are she’s just looking for a way to compare herself in a better light than you. It’s what people do. Don’t give her the satisfaction.

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