I just wanted to say that I have been very creative lately. I wrote a feature length screenplay and then decided that I wanted to write a trilogy of three screenplays. I am working on the second screenplay now. I have some ideas and hope to complete them before I die. The stories are about a woman (though they are really three different women in the different screenplays while at the same time all being the same woman) and about sex and God. I am calling the affair “The Daniela Trilogy” after the name of the woman though I might change the name to “Danica”. They are bizarre and naive. But I am afraid of sharing my writing with other people and I know my ideas will never be made into real movies. But thinking and walking and writing has made me feel so much better. I have been writing a lot since the beginning of the year and for some reason writing gives me some kind of meaning to my life even though I am afraid to share my ideas and I know that they are probably not that good. I have a reader who is also a writer who reads my writing and he says he likes it but that they are strange. He called my writing “outsider art” and compared me to Henry Darger. I wish I could be so good and productive but I know he was just being nice to me. In an ideal world I would write and write and write and people would find my writing after I die and they would think my writing was good. But it is probably not that good.
I started writing my screenplays out of loneliness because I wish I was a normal man and could have a wife like a regular person and get a job and have friends and have children, things I haven’t been able to do since I became schizophrenic, but writing my stories had made me feel less lonely. I am so happy with my writing. I feel good.
