My uncle asked why I haven't got a job yet 18 months on

I went to visit my uncle in hospital as he is getting cancer treatment.

He asked why I haven’t I found a job 18 months on… basically trying to tell me I should just take a full time job even though I know I can’t.
Then he went on to criticise various other things I do. I wish I never went to visit him.

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Sorry to hear that…maybe he’s depressed I think cancer can cause that… I pray he makes a full recovery… Don’t worry too much about it I’m sure he’s not his usual self… I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you

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I just wish he wouldn’t criticise everything about me, every time he met me, his been doing this for years. Im never good enough and nothing I ever do is good enough.

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People from the older generation can be critical of others.
My father is like this.

Try not to take it seriously @Ish

But I do realize that it’s not easy

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I’m sorry he did that. I agree that the older generation is critical. They believe everyone should work, and work very hard. Try to let it go and maybe don’t see him often.

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I would feel like saying ‘I understand why you got cancer, negative thought patterns can support that’.

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I wouldnt take it personally. People have all kinds of opinions. Just do whats good for you.

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He’s not that old. Probably in his early 70s

That is still considered pretty old @Ish
At least from a different generation than you

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It’s not his fault at all

Can you imagine how much of an abstract mind you’d need to sympathise with something as obscure as psychosis ?

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He’s a product of a society that doesn’t understand these things

I was completely ignorant too

Getting sick like this certainly gave me sympathy and insight into what suffering is in this form

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I just went to see him as he wasn’t well and was in hospital for two months but never again. I’m done with my relatives !

I don’t think he knows I had psychosis although he knows I spent time in hospital … It’s frankly none of his business but I do agree he won’t understand if he knew

That’s a shame

151515

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People would always ask, "How come you ONLY work part-time?

I suppose I could tell them it’s a miracle I was even able to work at all…hospitalized 5 times…suicidal ideation…delusions of reference and persecution.

I’d just straight up tell the person that I have an affliction whereby I’m only able to work reduced hours.

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I have told him multiple times I can’t work full time because of my health … I can never say or do the right thing.

Hi. You know, it’s a shame you recognize that your uncle is ill and do a nice thing by visiting him in hospital, when he won’t even acknowledge that you have an illness that prevents you from working full time.

I would say to do what works for you. I can’t work full time either anymore ever since I got schizophrenia.

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He went on to ask if I can cook. I said yes I can make pasta etc. But then he said but can you cook rotli. I said I don’t eat that. So what’s the point in cooking it. Then went on to tell me that I admitted my grandmother to the wrong hospital and it’s too late to do anything now. We basically put her in a local hospital cos that’s where a and e took us. Then went on to tell me why I haven’t sorted out my power of attorney for my mum. And whether we’ve asked my grandmother what she wants done at her funeral. I explained she’s got dementia.he says she didn’t have that 7 years ago !

I’m sorry for bringing this up again but why do I feel so crap about myself as if I’m just not good enough for anything. I was doing much better not seeing him.

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Honestly, if your uncle was that concerned with your grandmother’s last wishes and her care, maybe he should have been her primary care giver.

It’s easy to pick apart and judge people and situations when it’s not directly happening to you.

He’s being pretty unfair— nobody can predict aging and the end-of-life course, and it’s pretty difficult providing care to another human being. Decisions and questions often get lost in the mix.

But I will say this: perhaps get a plan into place for your mom when you guys have time— less stress for the both of you and more informed decision making for when it’s time.

My mom and I are beginning this process ourselves. She had a big health scare back in August 2024, and we’re still dealing with the aftermath today. It’s a difficult subject to broach but probably better to have all one’s ducks in a row.

Don’t be down though, you guys are doing great and doing everything you can do— it’s not easy at all.

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