My SZ history

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

When it began.

Sitting in front of a pdoc in the morning in the psychatry, 1995. Told him what’s goin’ on.

The evening before the ambulance brought me, I tried to hit one of my housemates in the hope he knocks me out.

Runned naked thru the house, broke all mirrors…

I took mushrooms a week ago. Psylocybin.

I did that every year in autumn.

Since I took more than allowed everything changed.

About 5 years before this.

Where it really began.

Sitting with a few guys in the kitchen in the evening, taking mushrooms like chips.

The light dimmed abruptly down, changed to purple, the faces lost their skins, clacking jawbones, the words get to a mush, swashed out the skulls.

Bad trip, I heard of that.

Since then I saw often shadows coming out the walls at night, got often panic attacks.

“You go now voluntary in the close area of this house, otherwise I order dukes, they will bring you.”

Haldol, neurocil, 6 weeks.

At home I throw them lately away, no life possible with them, a half year in bed, only thought about how I will end my life.

Got manic.

A year later the same.

Got manic…

Went highly psychotic to a therapy, asked for help, it worked halfway.

We found a work for one year, got an health insurance that I hadn’t for years.

I was more ill as that I worked, not possible with fluanxol, everyone laughed at me, made jokes.

Since then I went into nature when I got psychotic, every year it got less.

Followed my dream, bought a circus wagon.

Build after one winter my home where I live in now.

I thought I was the winner over SZ.

For a few years I worked for myself, repaired homes and electronics, gardenwork and so on.

2015 I got a new strong psychotic hit.

I told it, I think all bad things came together, got hacked, got a bad tick bite, burnout, lack of sleep, weed gone, crazy behaviour of neighbours, contact to the cops because of the hack, they took my phone for checkup, I felt after that observed, military all around, helicopters, walked thru rivers that dogs can’t find me…

6 weeks , Zyprexa…

Since that experience I was paranoid, with or without Zyprexa.

Finding now slowly back to life.

Life in nature.

Thank you.

5 Likes
2

Nature is a good thing for sure :evergreen_tree:

Glad to hear you’re doing better and thanks for sharing :+1:

2 Likes
3

Moved to DX’d - Sz/SzA where it is on-topic.

v.

1 Like
4

Mushrooms were a crazy ride

1 Like
5

Nature is sometimes hard, but it is no monster

The monster seems to be the human brain.

What was going wrong with it ?

6

I played dead.

Don’t know why.

I brushed my teeths in nature near a little way.

A guy I know yelled at me, I showed him my toothbrush.

He was after me, he shouted he will call the cops.

I left 5 € behind me on the way.

I walked then thru the village, that guy left me not.

I asked a guy who was in his garden if I can get some water to drink, he gave me a bottle and told me he need the bottle back, the other guy yelled at me that the cops are on the way.

In the middle of the road I broke.

Played dead.

A lot of guys put me near the way, hidden some of my things far away from me, headphone, field recorder…

Ambulance came, they throw me in the van, I grabbed my phone and recorder whilst that :joy:

In the ambulance van they searched my pockets, found my purse and counted my money and told each other that that must be drug money and that they take it (~1000 € )

The driver said no.

I said one word whilst all that :

Silver

It was a association of me, since I used the waterfilter I felt slightly psychotic, …( it has silver particles in it… )

Hospital, played dead between two old guys, I felt like I was in heaven that night, heard a big string orchestra in my mind, never had that before and after that…

Thank you

7

All spoken words fell down into single letters that told storys behind it. Letters to words, words to sentences, the meaning to the real message was gone…

8

Over and out.

9

i once heard a beautiful choir :slight_smile:
never inestigated to see if there really was one

1 Like
10

i can relate.

shounds like you made things work for quite a while (with no meds?)

1 Like
11

Without pharma meds, correct.

12

you took supplements, then? what?
were you symptomatic?

13

Plus b vitamins

No

15

was it some extract of a plant in pill form, or was it a literal plant you were eating the leaves of?

also, why was that topic closed?

(this is some random text to make this post different from the one i just posted and deleted so the system will let me post it)

16

I think it was closed because it was an old thread

1 Like
17

Who knows? I guess this is a privately owned site. Internationally published. I was just glad to be banned for a year from it once. I think it was one of the most productive years of my life

18

The user was alluding to drug use. What five and seven leafed plants do people like to self-medicate with around here? (Don’t forget the nine leafed variety, either.)

:roll_eyes:

v.

2 Likes
20

Closing as user who started topic is currently on suspension.

v.

1 Like