My sister thinks ill never get engaged

yes,she said once if we should be honest we should say that ill never get engaged. i am a little bit jealous of ill girls who can find men. but lately i closed myself even for this…some advice me not to seek men right now,dont know… i had just one ex who was coming to see me once in a month,i became addicted to him but i was insulting him and he left me…

Three years ago I was homeless, abusing drugs and alcohol until I passed out, and I screamed and ran whenever a guy so much as tried to shake my hand. Now I’m engaged. To a guy, believe it or not. Never say never.

Finding someone whom you want to spend the rest of your life with is great, but a lot of people don’t want or need that. You don’t need someone else to validate you or your life. Do what you love and be kind to others and you will meet people who will like you for the amazing person you are, whether they become friends, lovers, or otherwise.

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thank you to both of you.yes,cj i am shaking when i see a man(not today,today i have the bright colors,its awful:)). uncripted,i suppose you re right, i dont know anymore what i want…

It’s okay to not know what you want, albeit very frustrating at times.

For me, it was because of PTSD stuff. Is it the same for you? For me, what helped was meeting a few really cool guys, and realizing that the whole, “all guys are animals, they can’t help themselves, especially when they’re drunk,” is a total myth.

Some guys wouldn’t ever even think of taking advantage of a girl, no matter what. Not even if they were drunk. Then I realized the guys who hurt me weren’t just boys being boys. They were criminals who acted in a manner at would be appalling to any decent guy. I don’t know if this is way off base from your experience, but that’s what helped me.

i am not sure whats my problem anymore… i lived with an agressive father, i was sexually abused by the boyfriend of my sister at the age of 6 (he was just masturbating infront of me) and probably my father was ill also. he developped some mental illness at his 50 and started to drink and died… i am a little bit desperate cause at one hospital here they stated that cant help me. after that i met a psy which i stayed for 5 years without a real progres. its my new doc now who tries me haldol… i am listening to the neighbours right now and i am afraid to show myself to the world…

I’m glad you got a new doctor, if the old one wasn’t helping. Haldol works really great for a lot of people on here. Are the neighbors doing anything interesting?

they re partying :slight_smile: in fact i am listening if they talk about me even if i know its not probable…

How is never getting engaged a bad thing? Marriage is an outdated institution that causes a massive amount of pain and suffering.

Just about every older person I used to work with would complain about how their significant other changed once they got married. People change as they grow older and by taking a marriage vow you’re saying that you want to spend your life with the person based upon their persona/character at their current age. It’s impossible to know for how you or your significant other will change in the coming years and if you really want to spend the rest of your life with the future person that your significant other grows into.

I’m sure you’ll find someone who loves you and will make you happy!


hah yeah. after living with my father for 35 years my mom says the same thing. that shell never get married if she could go in the past…

I’m a guy and I’ll never get married, for most of the reasons @Bipolar_Bear mentioned to be honest. In fact I consider myself very lucky to have escaped.

You have no idea what you’re missing out on. There are flaws, but there is a lot of good. Lots of bs, but lots of playing. You get married with the anticipation of how they will change, and how you will change by having known them. My first ex-husband was boring but my second is a man to respect. He’s not perfect, just a joy in his good moments. You have to look for good character.

From what I’ve read, it is children that makes it hardest though many parents will say the reward is worth it.

You still have a chance at finding a guy. There’s a lot of lonely men (not in a bad way) out there just looking for companionship or more. You read my story earlier. What I have done seems impossible. Finding a man might seem impossible but I have seen many cases of mentally ill or so called “normal” people who seemed like they would never hook-up but they find a guy or girl anyway. You could meet someone tomorrow.

Never say Never, you just never know.

Nonsense. Even your sister has problems because everyone does. Problems make married life seem an added trouble but marriages make both lives easier too! :blush: