It was really sad
I was begging the voice to give me a chance to be part of the kingdom of heaven on earth.
But the voice said this kingdom can only be formed if I’m the sole person in hell.
It was really sad.
I remember sitting in the park on my own at 2am, praying and begging to the sky to take my mum instead.
Sometimes I can still feel this weakness in me, like I’m not meant to be a winner at life
You ARE a winner.
I also feel like that sometimes…
But it’s important to not let the illness define us.
Sometimes I feel as if others use us… like a shadow or scapegoat. Your allusion to the strange voice is telling. I know for a fact i have been used by others, and it’s ending. They dont like it.
I’m happy to hear that you are able to be Assertive like that. That can sometimes be difficult for people like us because I feel we tend to be more needy, at least me and my sz friend are
I think a lot of people love and feel bad for schizophrenics, but schizophrenics often have difficulty loving themselves.
Be kind to yourself, friend.
i used to be into this hell thing until one day i took shrooms and all of a sudden it came to me the realisation that there may be no connection between anything at all, there may be no law to things, it all can just be and there is no need to find reason as it is possible that there is none. you see, heaven and hell are like the extremities of what we know, the best possible world, the worst possible world. it is all ideas that started on someone else’s head. think with your own. love yourself.
@Zoe I had horrible themes about hell as well when I was psychotic.
Our brains just turned against us, that’s all.
That sounds scary and distressing. (hug)
I haven’t really had delusions or voices about hell. I did, however, have plenty of delusions about God’s will. Like, if I poured too much cereal into a bowl, I thought “oh, God must want me to have more cereal…” Lol.
I thought every little detail of my daily life was God intervening.
(I’m not trying to start religious talk, I’m just mentioning some of my delusional experiences.)
And, Mae, you ARE a winner. 
Just like @Milly said! You are well liked on this forum and I’m sure you’re well liked IRL.
I had some nasty religious theme psychosis as well.
It defs blew up my world view
@Zoe You know you are not winning because your definition, is designed by others definition.
You are a star in my eyes !!
Make your own definition of win, old is not gold, old is old, let it alone.
Only thing in, Old is gold, that it rhymes… That’s it old scripture just sounds good.
@Zoe , I used to have religious issues. I just tried to calm myself down and find a balance between beliefs and reality. It was not easy and I still struggle with it. But it’s not as bad now
You are not a loser. You’re well liked around here. Don’t give up!
there are no winners or losers. life is not a competition. that is a concept a lot of people believe. concepts are ideas. you dont have to believe them.
Yes I know that. There’s no competition. I’m just saying winning in life instead of losing and giving up.
You’re also not a loser. Kee up the good fight
Thanks, wise words, 
You are also a winner Blossom. You truly are a blossom. Lol.
Yes it’s interesting how religion comes up so much in sz
