Schizophrenia.com

My Poor Auntie

I’m glad I moved back. I can help take care of my Auntie. It was getting to be a burden on my ex, who isn’t even related to her. She can be so abusive and he doesn’t understand what’s happening. It’s mostly in the evenings when she has a hard time. Then she always wants what she wants, like a child, and doesn’t take kindly to limits and boundaries. She plays guilt trips and says mean things and hangs up on me. She never remembers though. She doesn’t remember who I am. I’m just someone who calls her to check up on her, some random voice on the phone. She always wants to know if I moved things at her house, or rearranges things, she’ll do stuff and not remember doing it. Then in the mornings sometimes she’s pretty clear headed. The other morning she said she was going to start writing things down because she thinks she’s forgetting things and she’s scared. She said things are always in different places when she gets back from the store like someone else has been in her house but that doesn’t make sense so she must be doing it and forgetting and that scares her that she’s losing her mind. I feel so bad for her. Social Services has put her under guardianship and she has a worker now. They take care of her finances and take her shopping. They think she’s safe to stay in the home for now. But it won’t be long before she’ll have to go to a home. She’s 83 now I think. Just 30 years older than me.

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That’s classic sundowning. It’s a well known symptom of dementia. You can’t do anything except agree with people who are sundowning because disagreement makes the symptoms and behavior worse.

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I never know what to say to her. She acts just like a child. Not like herself at all. I usually let her yell at me and then I calmly explain things like you do to a child and she tries to guilt trip me into getting her way. But I can’t give her something I can’t give her so it’s hard and she doesn’t seem to understand that when she gets that way.

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When my father in law was alive, he would get the classic sun downing of dementia. There’s no point in arguing or correcting them when they’re like that. They won’t remember it anyway, and it doesn’t help them when they’re like that.

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Dementia sucks more than sz, you loose everything.

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Oh @Aziz it’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen

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