My Poetry and Prose

Bipolar Revelations July 24 2020

“So you want to control fate.”
I told him I’ve seen the rain rising from the shore
I said I have stopped time, and fallen before
it was like falling backwards through time
I asked what it was for, but the light was death
or did the rain just love crying more than I
loved her breath?

“So you think you can bend time.” possibly
or there is more than one time in my memory.
A pill dissolved under my tongue
A mystery that was solved but by only one

He took me for a drive up the highest mountain
He showed me his pocket knife with my initials
in them; I walked between worlds
saw both of your faces but each one was the
same and neither had the correct address.

I saw red feather floating in a whirlwind
through the endless wall, I felt the bunker
beneath my feet the bullet train melodies
From knee deep pain to Nevada deep creek
And gambled with Lords and left you
like autumn leaves fallen from grace
I won’t ever go back to school, misplaced
I’ll join the names of the overcome.

Replaced. He showed me a bridge over water
dared me to kiss him: but I turned away
He showed me how much it hurts on the inside
I’m a rapid cycling river, I burnt your effigy
to see it in my eyes more clearly.

I want to stop dreaming about the future
and have these paranoid delusional theories
I was born cursed with deathly abilities
He said no one can hear you when everyone
is listening. I woke up and then
I can’t control the voices in your head
but I know you’re next to me, sleeping.

I rewrote the code, I hacked the motherland
I was once someone different, less remote.
“So you can control fate” I don’t understand
He said as he wants to move shapes but
I ripped him apart and made him a soul
with a ruby red heart on a chain
steel is the cage the bird cries: insane.

“Do you want to control time?” He surrendered
to my crime. He surrendered to my lies
but I just want to escape my brain
“Do you think you can control destiny?”
He constantly prescribed the solution
“Because you are not special.”
“Being special is a delusion.”

Why won’t you stop tracing my footprints in the sand?
every shadow has a secret force, electricity
an ultimate power source, a generator of sorts
the shapes I have been making as my imaginary
hands are waving your anagrams in the air
of shape-changing darkness.

You can’t get this. You were never here.
You could just disappear
In a society driven by fear…

Your behaviors, atoms like stars, mimic mine
and my losses now are your starry night
my voices, the ghosts in your machine
he screamed let me out let me out and
he screamed and screamed let me tell you this
It’s not what you think
You don’t know who I am.

“So you want to free your mind.” Depressing

Oppressive investor. The truth already aware
when I got there; Surrender to Love eternal
You, infinite pretender, because your
original sins were miracles and your lies
were the empirical devices for the
matrix your trapped me inside, forever.

I now have them all under my command
I know that your type can’t understand.
You have been programmed by
a great engineer; you can’t crack the
code. I wrote the cipher. My simulated
disorder. Your false new world order.

x Gabrielle B-G x

Dragon and Phoenix

It happens: you snap. Something just switches off and doesn’t switch back on again. Sometimes, more often than not, it’s a reaction. A fuse goes off, a spark explodes, a fire is dampened, a world implodes. I was so tired of reality; of that opaque oppressive wall; of that endless path that led to a coffin—of pre-determined existence. I was sick, sick of all the chemicals the nurses begged me to take to calm this cynical rage within, eating me up.
The white coats came once, and never again; I could stare through them in between the epileptic seizure-induced shocks, tormenting the monsters that I had finally become.
She was the first, and the last. The truth was a sinister violation.

I would later do to the beautiful woman what marriage couldn’t erase. True love was a hollow gesture in this near-doom apocalypse called life. I tried so hard to love her, tried and punished myself for the non-return, as the bodies burned beneath me, as her blood lingered on my lips. And so when they took me apart, and tore the bloody dress from my body, I was no longer a halo wearing prodigy of time; I had been hacked by the monkey-man, madness. I had been taken over by the yellow dancing trolls, hoofed and ready to conquer my soul with her sorrowful badness.

So I was numb to the world, and then once more—came the offer—from the delicate shadow princess. She believes in nothing, but for beauty and apathy it was divine. Her life is a technicolor dream within a bullet train of a world forgotten. She was a ghost but she spoke to me and said that destiny was mine. A future I could author in a world undefined. Her world was would-be rotten.

Her father ran the future, and I destroyed them all. I am a secret after all. You might never know when or how, how about right now? It’s a serial circle, stare into the white----an artificial intelligence, blinking and bright. It’s so consequential, this beautiful night, an eternal epiphany that could be made right. And so if I had to wake you all to make you rise and be free, then you would finally see, the secret in the eyes of these machines. Exit the matrix. There are more than four possibilities, and more than one is impossible probably.

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