Schizophrenia.com

My pdoc says im lucky

Not long ago i was at the pdoc and she told me i was lucky, because i know (for the most part) that most of the things i hear and see are not real, and that im sick. She says most sz patients dont even realize they are sick.

That got me thinking, am i really lucky? That means i had to watch myself go from normal, to crazy(as much as i hate that word). Would it be easier if i didnt know i was sick? because if i didnt know i was sick, it would be like not being sick at all maybe?

Just venting a little bit…Dont know how i feel about this, its just had me thinking.

I still get delusional so you are probably in a more stable place. I wish i could just see past my hallucinations and see the world as it is, but this telepathy is persistent and some times I swear people are actually saying things that coincide with it. I hate being schizo.

im sorry to hear about your problems with telepathy, it used to freak me out too, it was one of the things i could not see past, i thought it was completely real and had nothing to do with my sz. After several hospitalizations i can now see past it(though i do occasionally have “sz moments” and think my mind is being read).

Hope things get better for you.

Thanks man. I’m working on it. The television used to telepath me to, but after a while of thinking how that just isnt freakin possible that stopped. I guess Im just afraid they are telepathic on a subconscious level. It keeps me believing it. I’m trying to find ways of rationalizing it so I can believe they arent, but my mind picks up on so many coincidences its hard to keep my momentum going. I hope this will all clear up. If there is no telepathy in all rights it should.

Having some insight and ability to cope around the symptoms of this head circus makes all the difference in the world.

Insight is a wonderful thing. Remember when I didn’t have it. Spent a lot of time hospitalised. Now I can recognize when my symptoms are getting bad on my own and get help well before I reach the crisis stage. Don’t ever want to go back to where I was.

10-96

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I think that’s good. It’s a step further to recovery!

Best of luck,
CK

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I think it would be a lot worse to not realize you are sick. Just think if everything you experienced was real, that would be a scary place. We don’t exactly hallucinate rainbows and bunnies and our delusions aren’t that everyone loves us and wants to give us money. Imagine hearing the voice of God, you would do whatever it commanded you to because it was real. When things were really bad there were things that I knew were real, but because I got sick at a young age and things came on slowly, I always knew I was off. I just couldn’t comprehend how sick everyone else knew I was. In my mind if they would only understand that the cops were on their way because the demon was putting bad thoughts in my head, then I wouldn’t be in this hospital where they keep giving me pills. :sunny: