That’s something you figure out years after the damage has been done.
I’ve been underwhelmed by a psychiatrist before. The best thing is to try to get a pdoc with similar life experiences as you, or one that can at least empathize with your life history. If you find one therapy can be pretty good.
I dyed in the wool soldier didn’t mix with a pacifist.
Yes, that is an example of two people who would have a hard time relating. I’ve always held the belief that the use of force can play a role in a moral life, but I’ve come across mental health professionals who found that belief repugnant. We didn’t argue the point, but I sensed disapproval for that from mental health professionals. One thing though - once you find violence acceptable for a moral cause it is hard to keep the violence from ultimately overriding the moral purpose with which you began. A good example is the Vietnam War. We dropped 2.4 million tons of bombs in that war, and those bombs fell on the just and the unjust alike. We killed a lot of people.
Another opposite is capitalist vs. communist.
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