My partner is driving drunk TW abuse

first want to start off by saying i feel so guilty venting about this but i’m in a tough situation. she just called me. said she was coming home from the bar. she was driving home drunk as hell, and i’m in a completely different state. she got drunk because i’m hanging out with my friend and haven’t really responded to her. she does this a lot when i’m with family or friends. it’s like she wants me all to herself. she’s very mentally unstable. she’s tried to kill her self when i was hanging out with a friend and when our friends were staying over. it’s always when she’s drinking. but she doesn’t want help. i told her the next time she does something like this it was the last straw. i’m planning on sticking to that. thing is i’m suppose to move to jersey with her june 1. all my stuff is there. gonna be awkward getting my things…but anyways i guess the biggest thing i wanted to say is i know if i break up with her she will try to harm/kill her self. i don’t want anything to happen to her, but i know she is toxic for me. i don’t know how to handle a situation like this. again sorry for venting just don’t really know what to do, and sorry this was so long thanks for taking the time to read it.


So dangerous and you need to draw a line in the sand. It’s not good enough but appreciate there’s some issues there. Still. They get in an accident and that is way too much and impacting you anyways.

1 Like

I was deleted for a post on this issue.

This should be deleted too.

@ninjastar @ZombieMombie

Took offline because it could be triggering for our community. You can still reply but hope you seek help for your partner. Sometimes substance abuse can’t be handled alone.

Also. You can’t be held to emotional blackmail in your relationships. That isn’t cool and it’s hard on you but ultimately you can’t keep doing this.

1 Like

Hey we relisted your post and added a TW so people know what they will be reading. Good luck, I’m sorry you are dealing with so much.


My dad drove drunk all the time when I was a kid! He got 6 dui total I spent a lot of nights waiting for him to come home. He’s gotten in accidents before and if he ever killed anyone in a drunk driving accident we would have lost our house! I would feel completely powerless while I waited for him to come home! He’s retired and only drives kind of buzzed coming home from the Christmas party at his law firm every year. I’ve heard cops drive him home the doorbell rang and cops would bring him home wasted . That was nice of them. Drunk driving is serious I absolutely never ever drive drunk. I hate drunk drivers and I wish I would have called the cops on him. I had extreme anxiety as a kid from staying up all night with no control .


I didn’t really read your post. Sorry I can’t concentrate. I don’t know what you should do. That sounds toxic

No need to apologize. Seeking support is exactly what this forum seems designed to do.

I know what a tough spot you’re in. I have had a friend threaten suicide repeatedly, and I was afraid if I wasn’t there for them all the time, they would off themselves.

But I had to come to understand, I’m not the one who broke them. I didn’t make their choices, and I can’t ruin my life trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped

PS. Get your stuff back first

1 Like

My oldest child was in an abusive relationship like this. Their partner would threaten suicide all the time over very minor things. Like if they went with me to the grocery store and didnt bring their phone, or if they tried to get a job. It was really unhealthy, and they were much happier once their partner was out of their life. What we did was drive them to the hospital and drop them off, explaining the situation to the doctor and that they had threatened suicide if my kid broke up with them. And then we said if they ever showed up at our house again we would call the cops.


Oh y’all got more kids? I didn’t know that

1 Like

Nah, I’m talking about our first kid. They were only with us for a few months, and because of their situation I refrained from talking about them in here while they lived here. But they still call like twice a week just to talk about life.


I had a partner like that. He constantly threatened suicide and would get upset if I didn’t respond almost immediately when he messaged me, regardless of what I was doing at the time.

I broke up with him, and guesd what, he’s still alive.

I know you have some feelings for your partner, but if she really loved you, she wouldn’t do those things to you.

It’s an arsehole way to gain control and attention. Some people are too toxic for relationships.

1 Like

it sucks that your partner acts like that… she sounds a bit possessive… i hope she can stop drinking every time she isn’t happy with something.

It sounds a bit that she is controlling you…

oh my goodness that sounds very awful, i’m sorry you had to go through that. that’s not fair and unfortunately other people’s actions take a toll on us as well. I couldn’t have imagined going through that but that proves you’re a strong person