Schizophrenia.com

My parents screwed me over

This story is about failure and what might have been. Most of you have probably had way more sex than me in your life. I was a late bloomer. No sex in high school, I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19 and I was in Soteria house, my first group home.

Than after Soteria House, I was put in a psyche ward. I always had a thing for older women and in the ward, some 30 year old CUTE, CUTE, women liked me. Ester. She was this petite brunette with a cute smile and she would fawn over me. I was only there for a week and half and she gave me he phone number. Then I was put in a long term locked psychiatric hospital and for some reason I still don’t fathom, I never called her. Oh well, my loss.

But I used to get weekend passes to visit my parents. My parents lived in an apartment. They were older at this time. I was 21 and they were almost 50. But they made friends with the young couple across the hall. Now, I’m not a mean person but this couple was, well, not the best looking people. Less than average looking. They were about 30 years old. But the women had a sister who for some reason was very cute. Looking back she was a little insecure, a little bit of low self-esteem, but older women were especially exciting to me at that age. And miracle of all miracles, she liked me!

But this story is about failure. So my parents started seeing them. On my weekend passes I would go across the hall to the neighbors house for dinner or a party. I remember getting drunk there once, the ONLY time I got drunk during that 8 month period when I was hospitalized. But anyway, we started doing things with them. We went to a poetry reading, we played tennis. They knew I was living in a hospital but it didn’t have any bad effect on them. Well, the friendship evolved. THEN, I struck gold (almost).

The sisters both wanted to visit me in the hospital, just them. No parents, no husband. Now like I said, this girl was cute and she liked me and reading between the lines, I was about 50% sure it was going to turn into something, well, …sexual. I was 21, she was 30. Man, I wanted it to happen. But my mom read between the lines too and she nixed the whole visit. I know she thought it would embarrass her if I did something with the girl and then my mom had to live 5 feet away from the couple. Man I was bummed, opportunities like that rarely happen to me. That was 35 years ago, and I’m still mad at my mom for that!

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My parents have never done that but I’ve never been in that situation.

As far as friends go… They were far worse. Even my friends now have this collectivistic ■■■■■■■■ going on.

I really don’t care any more, at least for now, I’ll probably be pissed about it later.

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Nick,

I’ve had some parenting experience. Sometimes I displayed poor judgement. Sometimes when a teenager who I was carrying for had an opportunity that looked wonderful to her, I would say, “No.” But we understand I don’t have the best judgement!

Jayster

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It’s not a failure.You had your sex when your 19,there I am now 25 haven’t ever had see yet,if you compare your much better than me

It’s all about luck Gtx. Your time will come.

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Thanks nick,would like to have your luck soon : D

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How are you doing these days, anyways? I haven’t seen you a lot on here lately.

So much drama over sex. I guess I just don’t get the big deal. I’m 20 and haven’t had sex. So what? Screw sex.

You’re a cool person nick you don’t have to let how much sex you’re having effect your self esteem.

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What year was your mom born? There’s a generational value schizm that occured between those born (more or less) before and after 1946 that seems likely to have played a role in her beliefs, appraisals and behavior.

People born before 1946 tend to be more secretive, perfectionistic, unquestioning, authority-following and in agreement with the statements, “Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.” and “Never tell anyone else about what goes on in this family.”

People born after 1946 tend to be more open, less judgmental, inquisitive, authority-rejecting and in agreement with the statements, “Do your thing.” and “One is as sick as one’s secrets.”

People born since about 1990 tend to have a very limited direct understanding of their grandparents’ and great grandparents’ relatively “contained” and “self-limiting” core beliefs and “behavioral policies.”

In many families of origin of the sz pts born from about 1946 to 1964 (the so-called “baby boom” generation; see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strauss–Howe_generational_theory), the relative “repressivism” described above was observed by Lidz, Fleck, Henry, Jackson, Laing, Esterson, Bowen and others (during that era) to be unusually extreme far more often than not.

Esterson, A.: The Leaves of Spring: Schizophrenia, Family and Sacrifice, London: Tavistock, 1972.
Henry, J.: Pathways to Madness, New York: Random House, 1965.
Jackson, D. (ed.): The Etiology of Schizophrenia: Genetics / Physiology / Psychology / Sociology, London: Basic Books, 1960.
Laing, R. D.; Esterson, A.: Sanity, Madness and the Family, London: Tavistock, 1964.
Lidz, T.: The Origin and Treatment of Schizophrenic Disorders, New York: Basic Books, 1973.
Lidz, T.; Fleck, S., Cornelison, A.: Schizophrenia and the Family, 2nd Ed.; New York: International Universities Press, 1985.

I can see how that would be frustrating. Oh well, our parents do a lot for us. Maybe you can forgive them for this one transgression.

I can’t really relate. When I was that age I was doing very different things and was mentally sound. My SZ settled in my mid-20s, not early 20’s.

My first sexual experience was at age 21. (I was very shy, and had 3 older brothers and a scary dad-all the boy’s in town were either my brother’s friends, or too scared to meet my father)
After the first experience, about 6 months later, I met and married my 1st husband, which lasted 25 years. He was my brother’s friend too, and asked on our first date if he had a chance with me because my brother told him he thought I was gay!

Call me a late bloomer, but sex after 49-50 has been the best so far.
Pretty sure it’s because of my 2nd husbands, well, attitude, and he got me wearing skirts and, um, revealing tops (modest-but revealing)…for the first time in my life.

I love the attention!

hey,

paranoia and other schizophrenic symptoms can be cruel masters…

Yeah I was a late bloomer too but I didn’t even get within the point of it till I was medicated…

Seriously. Sex can do strange things to people who obsess…If your wondering. Save up some money and visit a house of ill repute…they deal with way stranger shite than we do and do the right things…ie safe sex…and just get that release!

I’d agree…sex older for me was a good thing…I was too symptomatic earlier…that paranoia cruelled me!

A friend in the struggle,

rogueone.

I am busy with life,trying to meet more people and recently been going for dates

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It’s just sex. It’s feels good for a little while and then everything is back to normal again. I don’t see why sex is so important to some guys. Having sex does not make you a successful person.

Seems like the only purpose of parents is to screw their children brain.
My father was very conservative and sometimes i still have dreams ( well more like nightmares) where he stalks me and beats me for doing “bad” things. He taught me that only thing that every man wants is to use a girl for sex. Suffice to say that it affected my perception of love forever.

But you know what, he didn’t know better. From his point of view, he was saving me for the good.
Only thing you can do, i think, is to understand that it’s not her fault, she picked that up from her parents and she thought she did the right thing for her son.

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I just have to say this. I don’t think it was a miracle. At all. :wink:

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