And have gotten all concerned now. On one hand I’m happy they are finally noticing when my symptoms are acting up but at the same time I think I just haven’t really been wanting to hide them. I think maybe the xyrem has made me a bit more uninhibited in general, so I’m less emotionally repressed now. But I consider that a good thing. I also feel horrible for worrying them the exact reason why I didn’t say anything was because I didn’t want to cause drama and now there’s drama.
My dad of course thinks everything under the sun is caused by my medication, without understanding that off meds my life is not worth living, is a constant hell, and I was like this almost constantly except worse and now I’ve gone down to only 2 episodes in the span of a year that haven’t even been as bad as I’ve had before. Sigh.
I wonder if I should stop xyrem though? It has affected me really weirdly. I was watching a show where they did Molly and while on it felt so happy and giddy and also turned on but when they “came down” they were very irritable and unhappy and maybe it’s the same with me for this med. I did just start the upper dose though so things could get better! I’ll see, if they don’t and things stay weird I’ll go off.
summary: parents have noticed I’ve been “off” lately & now I’m upset bc there’s drama, also I’m conflicted about xyrem because it feels like I’m taking an illicit drug or something. I may stop it soon but I just started the therapeutic dose so maybe it’ll resolve.