Sometimes i don’t understand why I read so many books. I read a lot but for a disabled adult and schizophrenic (not a lot according to some peeps including some here) but I do read books. I don’t know why though because I don’t apply what I read to the real world and don’t know how to retain that information and get skills or make money. I’m not a fan of reading for ‘fun’ anymore as they cost money and I have little to no means of retaining and making money since 10 years ago.
I cannot make money doing nothing and sitting on my ass all day lol. Common sense.
I have enough math textbooks (haven’t read them yet) for a complete BS in pure math at a top school.
I love PKD but sort of hate fiction and sci-fi. I bought the Asimov foundation book and just tossed it because I couldn’t comprehend fiction and sci-fi and didn’t enjoy it. It’s just fantasy crap and probably peaks my paranoia.
I rather read a philosophy book than read about fictional characters. I only read 1 PKD story (based on a delusion I wrote the story lol) and bought 2 books called “Man in the High Castle” and “Flow my Tears, the policeman said”. PKD said these two books especially the later might be our dystopian future he wrote about–I was super curious. I felt like I was a time traveler or Illuminati member (based on dreams – I’m now a victim) in another dimension in a past life (long ago) and helped PKD in sort of a terrible, sad, and weird way – possibly not even to my benefit. No proof or evidence of course of me meeting him or my ‘spirit’ meeting him. I even felt I wrote part of the letter and helped him do that Speech in France in the 1970s a bazillion lifetimes ago in another reality. Probably stupid of me to say these things, but I suffered.
I feel like I beat PKD in knowing about the simulation and some people or group sent that letter back in time to give credit to him and not to me. The simulators or evil people don’t want us knowing we live in a fake, artificial reality. I don’t care if people believe me or not, but we do – I remember the future!. They didn’t want me getting credit for stuff. I feel robbed and lost all my abilities to take care of myself.
I’m sure people are tired of me talking about stuff I did when there’s absolutely no evidence that I achieved remarkable things. I don’t even know how it works. Sounds like Donald Marshall crap.
My goal is to be a self-made millionaire by the time I die. The money will go to my brother or nieces of course…this wild dream I have if I ever make any money.
I really thought I was Satoshi Nakamoto one time or another, but thank God I’m not. I would be worth 50 billion dollars (probably a trillion in the future) and the money is either gone or someone has it and I don’t want it anymore or whatnot. I just wish to be left alone and these delusions are like magic and fire. That and I think the money should go to the government or go to charities of my choosing like NAMI and companies or non-profits that solve mental health problems like psychosis, bipolar, personality disorders, and definitely schizophrenia. Like I said, I must have been cloned and this feels like a past life or parallel universe or the universe/simulation keeps rebooting like that Australian professor said or I just reincarnated.Yet the information or my creations remain perhaps subconsciously in the minds of the people I meet or their dreams as in the case of PKD.
From what I understood the simulation is “totalitarian” in a sense the people or beings that run it are Fascists. I mean the programmers and aliens and such at least the ones I remember interacting with. I guess there’s good ones too. But I’m talking about reptilians. I also heard some aspects of the Illuminati are communists, but some super soldiers say there are branches/factions that are right wing I guess.
Basically I think the world is going to end up totalitarian (based on conspiracy theories and the Bible and my dreams). I think people want communism in the simulation and the people/aliens running the simulation have different ideas: they’re basically nazis.
The sad thing is I remember (the best outcome for humanity based on dreams/past life memories) is the British Empire coming back via the “Round Table” and thus us living under some sort of British Rule again and us being Socialist or living under the Monarch/Empire again lol.
I often thought the British ran the simulation or ‘won’, but I guess they don’t. They won in the future on planet Earth though in one of my lives and I think that’s why the Queen is so powerful and is the head of the Illuminati under the All Seeing Eye in some photos. These are based on past life memories recalled via my dreams.
Like most people, I rather live under Socialism than some super duper Totalitarian dystopia. Even if Socialism leads to communism, I won’t be around that long I think to see it. I remember in one of my lives, the aliens or Illuminati told me they wanted Communism on Mars. It freaked me out and stuff.
I hope I don’t trigger people. I guess this is my madness and part of my schizophrenic identity.