Schizophrenia.com

My neighbor is a little too friendly


#1

We have a new next door neighbor, a younger guy, married, no kids. The other day I heard my dog barking, I went outside to see what the fuss was about. he was barking at my next door neighbor, our properties are divided by a fence. The guy wanted to come see my dog on my property, I let him him in, on to my yard. We talked for about 20 minutes about different topics, he seemed very mellow and nice. Today he rings my doorbell, he wanted to know which heating/gas provider we used, hes converting his home to gasoline from oil. My father invited him in. I was a bit nervous, he sat down made himself comfortable while my dad went searching for some paperwork - info for him.
He was super friendly and very mellow, a relaxed down to earth type individual. When he left, we got to talking outside in between our properties, he was explaining what work needs to be done on his lawn. I walked with him to a neighboring town lot adjacent to his lawn, he said he wants to put in a path - walkway for people to walk through onto the next street. This guy seems very friendly - too friendly if this is possible, is he nosy? snooping around? curious? maybe a bit, maybe its my paranoia - I do not trust easily. But the guy does seem to be geniune, and did I mention mellow? I could see him becoming a sort of friend. I havent had a new friend in years -


#2

Probably just trying to fit in, and his way is by being outgoingly friendly but also mellow. plus he’s new and wants to know about stuff in the neighborhood.
When i first moved here all the neighbors came over the first 2 days. one even helped put up plywood one day building the house but also brought some young guy who didn’t know carpentry and split out the ends of a few studs.trying to 'help."
How do you tell free volunteer help they are fired? LOL…but I just politely said at the end of the day that we got the rest and thanks…so they didn’t come over to help again .
Lady did bring over fresh eggs and some other stuff…Guess it was the welcoming committee, LOL. Was a bit much though, even if they were all friendly.


#3

Maybe he’s talking to you and coming over with actual intentions of becoming friends! It’s a difficult way to make friends, but that’s what I did when I moved to a new state and didn’t know anyone.

I made sure to meet all my neighbors and be very friendly with them. At the time, that was the only way for me to make friends. I was in a new state, knew no one, and was lonely.

But I can understand how this might put you off or make you paranoid. Just keep being friendly but guarded. The worst thing that could happen is you form a neighborly relationship with him!

Blessings,

Anthony


#4

@e_lunaseer and @radmedtech thanks for sharing and giving me great advice. Yeah I am kind of proud of myself for being somewhat social and being a good neighbor - Ill try to be friendly at a distance - see what unfolds


#5

Dear Mr. Wave,

I think you did great! Taking a chance and opening up a little is never easy. I don’t think he was being nosey as much as he might be nervous himself and hoping to fit in to the new neighborhood. I have a feeling he’s genuine. He has no reason not to be.

If Oil delivery is anything as expensive in your state as it is here, I bet he would want to switch. I hope you and your neighbor can get to know each other little by little and eventually you’ll feel more comfortable around him.

I’m really glad you gave this guy a chance. :smile: It can sometimes be nice meeting new people.


#6

I love him, send him to my neighborhood immediately.


#7

I think most neighbors want to get along. Or be left alone. It sounds like you have one who wants to get along. Too friendly is better than mean and nasty. If you like the guy and you feel like having a friend this may be a good opportunity. I find that "clicking’ with someone new is rare for me and my friends have been few and far between. If you’re compatible just go with the flow I guess and see what happens. Be friendly back.


#8

he is friendly and married…has he ever talked about his wife and what their plans are…has his wife ever made an effort to meet you??? i am sure it is just me,but i would use extreme caution…


#9

@bubbles He does talk about his wife once in a while. He said she would like our kitchen if she saw it, things like that.
He does seem to care about her. She seems to be more private and more involved with her work - she does not make her presence known as much - she is in her house a lot


#10

thank you wave for explaining…i would still be careful though…but again that is just how i am


#11

I’m the same way :wink:


#12

Yay! A new friend. I understand what your going through. I want to be friendly with my neighbors, but at the same time it seems like such a headache and I wish they would leave me alone. There’s really only one that talks to me now. She seems to have a few screws lose…but look who’s talking lol. I think you should be friendly back and see what happens. I wish I had a better relationship with my neighbors, but I’m just so shy and kinda backwards that its hard.


#13

@Newanda Believe me, I am no social butterfly - it is very difficult for me to be friendly towards people, getting close to others is not my strong suit. I mean I could be polite, at a distance, Im always guarded and cautious. But because we are humans, I think that at some level we all need at least some social interaction.


#14

From what I’ve observed with family and some cousins, it seems like if one partner is outgoing, the other is more reserved. I really do think opposites attract.

Congratulations on this. I hope he ends up being Ok. I agree with a lot of others here, being calm, cool and polite is one thing, you don’t have to take him in like family right off, but getting to know someone bit by bit seems like a common thing to do.

Good luck, and I hope you end up with a good neighbor.