My natural new state of my reality living with scizophrenia

ok hello every one im new currently im under the influence i feel it helps but does the opposite

any way short summary since 2010 i was drug induced and have been struggling up in till year 2014 when something changed i hear what i call guy voice i never new ways to cope and my doctors never helped i feel they were like asking me to believe that meds are the all to solution it was the same old experience same questions never felt support rather forced and convinced meds were the key solvant well finally i came to a point i researched coping skills from google that i feel could have been informed by my psychiatrist who specializes in this area but how can this be i get treated by seriqual for scizophrenia and yet the average joe get same meds for sleep problems how can this be a true affective percise way of managing this particular state of being. its laduacrus but its still an adventure trial and error im so angry that my underlying symptoms have only been recent that i had to be creative in response the the guy voice. any way i have fears my kids will think less of me or get embarrassed by telling friend my diaghnosis. i am now practicing personal sign language to detract suppressing emotions as well as taking the time to think before i respond it sometimes helps reduce confusion disorganized thoughts and cooperating to his wants for me with what feels productive or if its helpful. my guy voice is helping me at the same time aggressive which in turn angers me and feels violating to my mutual responsibility to have respectful convos as my anger comes out on my partner. so im left dealing with aggression demanding influence which can make me turn silent as get stuck in wishful thinking like maybe it will go away. in conclusion i have a ray of hope a spiritual aspect instilled in my inner soul which pulls me through thick and thin.


i am a survivor