My naivety

In my first hospital some of the people were cool. My roommate freaked me out my first day in when he started praying out loud and cursing out the devil but he wasn’t a bad guy. I had just never heard or see anyone do that before. An older lady (well 40) got a pass to visit her family and before she left she asked me if I wanted anything from outside. That was nice of her. I asked her if she could bring me back a newspaper and she did. A girl kissed me. That was nice. This was 1980 and I was 19. In 1981 I was put in a long term hospital with about a hundred patients. When I got in I thought, “Well, we are all on the same side and we are all in this together and everybody is going to help each other”. I was wrong. People made friends but no one helped anyone else. There were some troublemakers and lots of loners. Some people physically threatened me. Other people were so scary looking that I left them alone and never talked to them.There were cliques and the good looking people hooked up with each other. I kept to myself mostly but I had times in 8 months where I talked to some of the guys who were my age. I had a few weird relationships with people who I learned I shouldn’t hang around because they were dangerous people. But yeah, like the nurse told me the first day, “No one helps you in here, it is just a warehouse for the mentally ill”.

I think it might be better to mixed with people whose mental illness isn’t too bad and can communicate good enough,its good to say we live for ourself and our happiness depend on our own and not others,but it’s also sad that people with mental illness,although we go through the same thing but it’s hard to help each other out without mentally healthy people’s help

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