My Mom was really strong

My mom had four little kids, was separated from her first (abusive) husband and was just dating my dad when she got pregnant with my middle-older sister. She tried to commit suicide by taking a bottle of pills. But she was found and she and my sister survived. She married my dad, and begged him to get a vasectomy, but he didn’t. She got pregnant again but had a traumatic miscarriage. She begged my dad to get a vasectomy but he didn’t. She got pregnant again and had a difficult birth with my brother. She begged my dad to get a vasectomy but he didn’t. She got pregnant again, with me, and I was born two months premature. We both almost died, but we didn’t. My dad got a vasectomy.
My mom was so very strong. That doesn’t mean she was happy or that things were ok. I’m a very strong woman too. So much like my mom.

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wow, what a mom !! my mom is strong too…but not as strong as yours…I am glad you were born !!

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Thanks, @jukebox. She didn’t want me. And her struggle was apparent because she loved me. She was just overwhelmed and swept-up by life without the possibility of death…like a prison sentence.
She told me once, “I never wanted all these kids”. But she was trapped because she loved us all.
I feel deeply sad for her sometimes. I really do. She’s been gone over eight years and I’m still trying to unravel the puzzle. :heart:

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That’s very expressive of you to say she was trapped by her love for you. My mother begged for an abortion of me and didn’t get it. She did love me and didn’t want me, too. Life made her so angry.

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It’s sad for them, but I suffered the inconsistencies and contradictions as I’m sure you did too. We were just kids thrown into the mix.

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My mother told me I was a mistake. And unfortunately she tried to “fix” her mistake several times.

Your mom sounds very brave and very good. May she rest in peace.

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Not trying to be a bummer but if your mum wanted your dad to get a vasectomy she probably wanted him to also use some form of birth control (like a condom)

If he had sex with her unprotected despite her pleas then that is classified as rape. I just want to make sure you and others are aware of this so you can know that it’s wrong and a serious matter.

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Thank you, @Noise. :heart:

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I totally understand where you’re coming from. This was a complicated situation. My mom would have absolutely had the power to say no to my dad. He worshipped her but was terrified to get a vasectomy… They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, but probably should have used condoms. It’s a Catholic thing too.
I just feel bad that my mom was kind of in this “perfect storm” in which she felt trapped… but she loved me Dad with all her heart and loved her kids, etc. Just not ideal for her physical and mental health and it showed.

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