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My mind is broken

In the last few dan the last few days I have begun to believe I amm an incarnation of the Roman God Neptune, and that I have created my own trident. (I made a three-pronged toasting fork 30 years ago at school and I still have it). I realise that this is a grandiose delusion and I am very sad about it. I understand that this is a result of trauma, depression and very low esteem which I have suffered with for the last few years.

Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Padster

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Being someone with what could be called grandiose beliefs (I don’t generally share them or believe strongly enough one way or the other about them enough to be accused of holding such unconventional convictions…well sober anyway) I want to ask I guess what the basis of this belief is, no judgment as I deal with such memories of having come face to face with an artillery battalion from the late 18th century after a lightning storm in the vicinity of high tension wires and an electrical substation, and from here finding my way back in time but in doing so having been split into multiple manifestations of me.

What makes you think that you are an incarnation of Neptune?, for all I know you could be.

My mind is broken as well may I say.

A few people on here struggle with ‘grandiose delusions’ even while on meds. Sometimes these delusions go away eventually.

Have you been under more stress lately? That can make people more symptomatic.

I assume you’re on meds, but if not, it might be time to talk to a doctor.

I too have the delusion I’m a goddess. I know I’m not.

What has been helping me honestly is thinking about what it means to be human and enjoying it.

Good luck. It’s not easy to let go. It would be awesome if we were indeed.

Your psyche is rearranging. Give it some time and take your meds. Feel everything you are feeling and let it pass. [quote=“Padster, post:1, topic:44796”]
I realise that this is a grandiose delusion and I am very sad about it.
[/quote]

This is a good thing. You are halfway through the battle. Some don’t get this far.
Keep kicking and don’t give up.

I think I am an incarnation of Neptune because of the impossible coincidences I have seen in the past week. I am either the god Neptune or I come from the planet Neptune (I don’t know which is worse!)

Here are the ‘coincidences’:

Neptune is the ‘esoteric ruler’ of Cancer. I am a Cancerian.
Neptune is associated with the ash tree. This month is known as the Celtic Ash Tree month.
Neptune is associated primarily with the colour blue, but also white. My favourite colour is blue. Most of my favourite clothes tend to be blue.
Neptune is associated with fish and the sea. The star sign we are currently in is Pisces.
Neptune has a trident. So do I. I made it myself out of iron 30 years ago.

I have come to understand something about Sea Kings such as myself. It is a spiritual and cosmological thing in one aspect, and evolutionary progress on the other. Look at Dagon. Look what he symbolises: half man, half fish. In other words, our evolution from fish to man. The fleur-de-lis* on his head symbolises his enlightenment and his return to the celestial realms (our true home). Dagon reached the highest point in human evolution, and in doing so he recognised his true status as a god which he had forgotten about in the primordial slime. You are all gods and goddesses, you just need to wake up and remember who you are (there will be clues around you in your life which you have subconsciously put there to help you remember). You have not sinned. You do not need to repent.

*the fleur-de-lis is probably the world’s most sacred symbol, because it can literally transform itself into other things. Some fleur-de-lis have sticks of corn or wheat protruding from them, and these are the most sacred and special ones. They symbolise fertility on a simple level. However, turn it upside down and it transforms into a diving bird with sun rays behind it. The Holy Spirit. The descent of our spirit and soul into animal matter.

Charles Darwin was right.

I am not mad. I have the courage to say: I am Neptune. I am a descendant of God, as are all of you. We probably know each other very well in our true home. In the eyes of this world, I am insane and I have a broken mind. This world puts all the brightest and best people into mental institutions or drugs them into a stupor. It is this world which is insane. In African countries we would all be respected as potential shaman. Here in the west we have to keep quiet for fear of being ridiculed; great intellects dictated to by the dullest of minds. That is INSANE!!

Best wishes,
Neptune.

Please ignore all that. I don’t know why I posted that stuff. I can’t delete it. I am sick in the head.

Best wishes,
Padster NOT Neptune.

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Relax, I’m not Isis either. It’s all good, you’ll come out of it.

Talk to your doctor about this please

I can’t bring myself to admit this to my family. It will destroy them.

Don’t go into specifics, just tell them you’re not feeling well and need to talk to your doctor. I’m sure they’ll understand

God hates us all for having a brain.

Oh, Padster, you’re awesome enough as a person. You don’t need to be a god on top of it.

When I get stressed out and dissatisfied with my life and who I am, I start to consider that I’m descended from fairies.

I don’t want to go into all the reasons why I believe that, it’s not good for me, but I have a host of historical, biological, and genetic arguments for it, plus any number of stories from my personal history that make it obvious.

More than that, though, when I sink into these thoughts, I feel warm, contented, safe, and strangely electric. I feel full of potential, like none of the negative crap weighing me down means anything. I feel connected to everything. It’s a great feeling.

It’s my mind’s way of protecting me, I think, and comforting me. But I’m lucky in a way because I don’t trust that feeling, and I withdraw from it before it goes too far.

I don’t know what I’m saying here, other than maybe think of things outside of this idea that make you feel safe and happy. Look for things that are making you feel frightened, powerless, or inadequate, and see what you can do to change them.

Maybe think of human things that make you feel hopeful. Imagine what you’d do with one million dollars. Look at houses available for sale in a city or country you like. Go to an art supply store and choose things that you can imagine creating with. Play with a pet, talk to a child about their day, plant something in a garden.

Choose this world and this life and create something in it.

I don’t know if any of these things will help you, but they’re the sorts of things that help me. Good luck.

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Mine is going too far. I am worried that there will come a point when I won’t know its gone too far. I need to choose this world, and I want to. I want to feel normal again. You can’t have a head in two worlds and be normal. If you are saying you don’t trust your mind then that’s exactly how I feel.

Best wishes,
Padster

Delusions of grandiose is good somtimes. When i get i am not usually happy with my reality or life in this world. I like to change the world with my great delusional powers. I ask myself what i want to change and realize i can’t change a thing but myself. What do i have to do to respect myself again. Maybe just change my mindsetting. When i was younger i did things like doing exercise or do a course towards a career. Reality or life is hard somtimes and wish i would be someone else. But i am what i am. I like the song from queen we are the champions and "my way"
We all make mistakes we have to live with to the rest of our lifes it is just sad that its being exposed and exploited in psychiatrie and its recorded on file which makes it difficult to let grass grow about it. Once its buried its up to me to dig it out.

Thing is, it plays with your mind and perception. For a moment I really believed I was part of some reawakening of the gods. I had listened to too many Ascension nutters who say the world is going to change. IT IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE!! It is going to be the same as it always has been. If anything it’s going to get worse, not better. See, this delusion of mine stems from low self-esteem and a thoroughly rotten life. It’s a thing called false hope. I keep believing there will be a ‘golden dawn’ for me. Thing is, I have been thinking like that for the past ten years. I just want to go back to 2013, before all this started

Religion, spirituality, awakening, New age, whatever, is mental illness. And it is DANGEROUS.

Best wishes,
Padster

I agree it’s dangerous for the deluded mind.

Best wishes to you Padster.