My lungs hurt of smoking

Yesterday was my 1st day at my new job - I don’t know how long will I last. I smoke out of habit, not because it gives me pleasure. I cry a lot. Sometimes cigarettes numb my sensitivity. I am paranoid I can get lung cancer. Part of me even wants it - I am so depressed I can’t get out of bed in the morning - my favorite time is the night because I sleep and I don’t think. Once I open my eyes I start thinking and worrying again. I think too much ahead of time. I am so anxious. I am afraid I will end up alone and have a shitty job till the rest of my life.

Yes I can relate
It does get better though it’s just slow

2 Likes

Yeah I agree. It doesn’t happen overnight but take the pills and if they aren’t working then have a good chat to your doc!

I dropped out of University and know a lot about working in dead end jobs. You’d be surprised that you can make a decent living out there doing just that! I know it’s hard but you never know how the future will be!

Cigs are seductive but ultimately they are poison for you. They help sz in the short term however so you don’t do everything at once. Get strong. Do your job and just go from there. Might pay to cut down on the cigs and just have a limit…one an hour if doable etc!

It’s not easy. It really isn’t but many of us come from similar stock!

1 Like

There are lots of opportunities out there that you can think about once you get your medication right
Volunteer work
Education
Travel

1 Like

I think I want to make an exposition. I am an artist. Though the other day I gave back the deposit for a commission of a huge painting - I can’t work big right now + I hate religious subjects.
I had a short term dream of writing and illustrating children’s book. Problem is I don’t believe in dreams come true for quite a while. Dreaming used to save me from lots of negativity. But one of my biggest dreams fell brutally apart. Now I feel like a black hole


This is a painting I did in 2012 before my 1st psychosis. People and galleries love it. I might use it as an inspiration for smaller ones.

3 Likes

Wow you definitely have a talent
Could you get a good job around that
You could go to college

1 Like

Wow some serious talent for sure! Well done you!

You don’t try to reinvent anything when your diagnosed! You just get the meds right and move from there.

It’s never easy. If it was this website would be redundant in a minute and nobody would come here.

Do what you have to do at work and get better. It’s all about getting better function over symptom control. Ask questions. We’ve all been there in some shape or form.

Very cool! I have a thing I do with scotch thistles…If I find one in nature I say a little prayer! My bad!

2 Likes

That’s amazing! It’s so beautiful.

I’m in such awe of your talent.

2 Likes

Thank you! Well I am already 34. I’ve been studying all my life. I think it’s time to stop studying and start doing what I already know. But becoming a recognized artist is REALLY hard!

Anything worthwhile is hard
Good luck to you
I hope you have every success

2 Likes

Thank you, shellys12
And may all of you have lots of success! It makes me sad how many people are suffering here in this forum

1 Like

Wow! That is a stunning painting. There are so many whimisical and intricate details.

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.