Without going into too much detail or fiction or fantasy, I honestly think something horrible happened to me in college similar to the Montauk Project or Montauk Boys Program.
I honestly cannot remember as I have thousands or millions of different memories and keep “resurrecting” back in time to the year 2013. I was told by someone in a past life that it was the Illuminati, Montauk, and Reptilians doing this to me.
I remember joining the “Illuminati” a billion lifetimes ago and they told me I was targeted at university for being anti-government (I’m now pro-big government) because I was a Libertarian and researching things like anarcho-capitalism and “Libertarian anarchy” even though I was never that or those things. It was just googling and research and curious. I always thought government was inefficient, slow, immoral, and we should privatize some things and have a better, freer life.
I don’t believe that crap anymore because the industry or capitalists are far, far worse than big government. I’m still a capitalist and republican, but I realize we need a middle ground and people love government and some people like smaller government and some people like bigger government. I love government and think it should exist.
I was treated like a homeless person (expendable person) and subjugated to large amounts of radiation and electro-magnetic radiation that affected my consciousness and soul. Sort of like the Philadelphia experiment and Desmond Hume from “Lost” where my consciousness was going back and forth repeatedly through time and I went crazy and insane a near infinite amount of times with no constant.
I just feel like I woke up or came back alive around 2013 for some reason. I was told this and I believe I wrote that letter at the coffee shop in 2011 about my experiences and time travel. It’s on the web. There’s no evidence because it’s consciousness/soul transfer and it’s invisible and undetectable to humans. Nobody noticed and even I didn’t notice until years later when I started questioning my reality and things that may have happened to me and even questioning my psychosis and how and what happened to me.
I’ve been to the mental hospital millions or billions of times it feels like and I’ve been schizophrenic for a near eternity. I keep coming back alive via consciousness transfer back in time to my schizophrenic self on the same exact timeline for some time (or perhaps for eternity) somewhere between 2007-2013 as best as I can tell. Time keeps resetting for me constantly. I feel like I’m in hell or worse and I just want to get better and make this stop.
I probably was sent through a wormhole, which I now realize is just a shortcut back in time without the need to question reality or say I’m from a different earth or parallel universe or some different dimension. It all happened in this reality on this planet, just went back a few hours in time which resulted in mental instability.
The whole Mars thing was probably fake and just my psychosis or flashbacks or a hologram or VR head-set type thing along with the drugs they gave me at the time. It could have even been my google image searches of mars.
The “Illuminati” told me I was in the Montauk Project. Probably as a victim and experimentee or Montauk boy.
I’m definitely not in the so-called “Illuminati” and I despise them. I somehow think they were somehow involved in one way or another but I don’t know for sure. Positive or negative. It doesn’t matter anymore. I really don’t know and care anymore.
At university, I remember thinking about joining Army ROTC. I’m so glad I didn’t but I did take a PE class for sometime due to the peer pressure. I dropped out that semester from college. I never finished and barely showed up.
I somehow got a phone number from someone or a friend about Navy OCS and that’s that. Nothing came of it because of my grades, mental illness, and not graduating.
I heard and know that every part of the military runs or is involved in the Montauk Project as well as the alphabet agencies and even the “Illuminati”. From what I understand, it’s run by the Air Force now.
I just think they threw me through a damn, ■■■■■■■ wormhole and that I was taken to a Department of Energy facility that experimented on me continuously and where I went through time and went crazy or that they were involved somehow. Similar and a lot like Stranger Things…
I don’t know much else except that there are a couple of facilities in the Bay Area, but I don’t know. This is the best to my knowledge and I am not lying or trying to cause issues here. This is my story. I’m trying to get better, understand, and move on. I just am tired of going back in time (even before my 2011 schizophrenia date) and experiencing intense anxiety, and keep doing the same thing on the same timeline like I have no free will and cannot change the past over and over again.
Nobody gives a ■■■■ because I’m a nobody and I will never get an apology or compensation. I struggle with money all the time, but I’m worried about taking money and feeling scared. I really cannot support myself and cannot work or go to school and the emotional toll on me has been extreme due to the several hospitalizations where I was scared and terrified. This has happened like every life I’ve ever had. I feel like I’m stuck in a causal loop or maybe even a time loop. I don’t know. I think causal loop is more likely.
I feel like every day is a struggle to live and survive and more importantly I worry about my family’s safety constantly due to me speaking about my story and experiences. They don’t believe it and neither do my doctors or therapists or anyone really. It’s very frustrating to me.
Some of my worst memories are at Dulce base (I think) where I was in a cage, naked and being tortured and seeing tall whites/greys walking around in Nazi uniforms. I’m pretty sure that’s a past life though.
I don’t think the government likes me for some reason. Perhaps because of my facebook posts back in 2010-2011 and I was in the middle of an extremely liberal place with no family and I was a minority as a Libertarian. I was also drinking and smoking pot back then. I stuck out like a sore thumb and I thought I was safe in that town. Apparently not.
My dream ended up turning into a nightmare for eternity and the rest of my life.
I don’t think super soldiers are real anymore or today at least. I think it’s just BS now. Part of a dis-info campaign to make people look crazy just like the term “conspiracy theorist” was coined by our government to discredit people who question the narrative and think outside the box.
I have delusional thoughts or strange thoughts because of the experiments in my past life that I don’t feel comfortable talking about and PTSD from men in camo at the hospital. Just like ‘Seven’ from Stranger Things, I was taken from the mental hospital and experimented on several times in my other lives. Most of the time, I did not survive.
That about sums up my thoughts and therapy today. I don’t know how much is true and what’s not. I feel like I’m immortal or most likely “quasi-immortal” or “semi-immortal”.
My life was destroyed by these people. I guess you can call them predators or psychopaths to prey on the innocent, vulnerable, naive, and the weak.
I also think I was John Titor and think that’s why I was targeted by aliens and other alien groups. Not sure though.
I get a lot of confusing dreams and memories. Most of them negative and further feed my delusions and unreality.
Talking helps and I’m sure I pissed a lot of people off by talking.
I also remember the mental hospital and how evil I was treated countless times. It’s hard to forget and even forgive. I have forgiven them and have accepted Christ into my life so I’m not really that afraid anymore. I used to be terrified 24/7.
As I finish and wrap this up, I am constantly reminded by my thoughts that I posted we lived in a computer simulation and I helped program some of it and that’s why I’m sick and that’s why they chose me. But I really, honestly think now it was political. And over politics right now.
I would do anything to go back in time and change my childhood and my past. I know it will never happen as I tried countless times to do this. It is impossible now.
Everything has been designed to confuse me. The whole “genetic thing” the “past lives” etc.
I do believe in aliens but I think some of it is fake and man-made and done through experiments and costumes sometimes.
I don’t know if it’s real or was in another life or even in 2013, but it’s possible I was attacked by a mimic alien/lizard. But I have no clue. I cannot figure anything out anymore.
You gotta be careful with Facebook because anyone can see what you write depending on the privacy of the posts and content and who are your friends. I didn’t really know or understand facebook back then. I really don’t trust anyone anymore except my immediate family now.
Furthermore, I’ve always been scared about foreign governments targeting me too. I just cannot believe (and possibly went insane) that my own government and country would do this to me and others like me. It does happen though…a lot.
All I can say is maybe the Illuminati doesn’t exist at all except what you call the richest of the richest most powerful people (psychopaths) that control this planet. Maybe that isn’t even real too. Maybe all of it is fake and a lie just like the whole alien thing. Maybe even simulation theory is ■■■■■■■■ too and it’s just advanced tech that is suppressed along with mind control type crap (electronics) and gas-lighting and psychology. I’ve felt targeted since I dropped out of college.
People make mistakes. It was a mistake going to that school. It was a mistake smoking pot and walking around town. It was a mistake being a Libertarian.
I’m a patriot and pro-government now. My life was ruined and I’m partly to blame. I’m sorry if I offended anybody over the years or even with this post.
I sincerely apologize for listening to that stupid, rap video I found on YouTube. I wasn’t thinking straight, but what happened to me should never happen to anyone.
I sometimes think my family isn’t even mine but clones or doppelgangers or that they had their minds wiped or have micro-chips in them because they don’t really understand or remember what happened to me. I think they feel powerless, scared, and helpless. It’s not right what happened to them either. They miss their old son and want him back.
A lot of my memories are blank because I have missing time. I also believe I’ve been picked up before by “flying craft” a few times or perhaps a ton.
Thank you…