So for the past 4 years I was registered in University. The situation is I’ve only completed 12 credits worth since joining. In 2015 I had developed psychosis. Years later I am now off medication (with Dr’s suggestion) I’ve ended up in the psych ward in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 every January it had seemed I would be in there. This forced me to withdraw from classes each year. I cannot apply for any funding as I’m unqualified now for funding. My life is pretty much going nowhere.
I don’t have a drivers license. I do have a college diploma though that I did attain in 2013 after starting college in 2011. Currently I am trying to get a job. I am going to try get my license this summer and get a job by September and start paying for a Education Assistant program. I just need to get a birth certificate and then I can go write the beginners test and once I pass that. I can try do my road test. As in 2012 I got my permit in another province. So I won’t have to wait 9 months to take the road test.
I do have a lovely sense of humour though despite all this “life passing me by” phase. So what should I focus on? I gave up on dating awhile ago, I think I seem too unstable for a relationship with my mood disorder I’ve developed in 2015.
I don’t play sports anymore. But I enjoy watching. I cook really well and its always very delicious when I cook something for me and my roommates.
It sounds like you need the steady support of family, friends and a community mental health support group that can help you get back to work gradually over time and also help you with assistance issues. Basically what I’m saying is don’t try to go it alone get some support. Reaching out here in this forum is a good place to start.
I would try to go back to uni. Personally i am 50 years old and try myself a unidegree. So i can be useful in 10 years. I am going nowhere either. I am happy with myself and my mates. Just don’t want to end up on the couch watching tv for the rest of my life.
I’m 65 (almost) and have worked only 3.5 years of the last 16 years and .5 of the last year. I have an MBA and a BA and neither has helped me much in the workplace after I developed schizophrenia 16 years ago. Like you I am constantly torn between the limitations of schiz and living with them and my ambition and living with it.
You got diagnosed with sz about 50 years of age?
It’s just I will be not in good shape with 60. So i thought IT Engineering maybe. See where my strengths are. I just like to chip in again as i used to for almost 20 years. The last job I had was almost 8 years ago.
Sounds familiar. Started developing symptoms when I was in my mid 40s, just like my father did. Yes I inherited it. Then it became full blown by the time I was 48 or 49 (not sure which). Developing confidence was the biggest hurdle in getting back to work again. I had the motivation but no confidence.
Once i get started it easy. I experienced when its get inconvenient or to uncomfortable motivation and confidence is zero. It’s just hanging in there and not giving up. At the moment I feel I got to fight another round. Feeling coming out of my knock out.
I was diagnosed at about 38. I’d lived a full life until then. But since then I’ve just been in survival mode. My life too is going nowhere. I’m nearly 50 now.
But I can’t think of anything that I’d like to do. I can’t think of anything that would make me happy.
So the disease has not only taken my ability to have a fulfilling life but also the desire to do anything fulfilling.
I’m just left with this vague feeling that there’s got to be more but I don’t know what it is.