My life is falling apart


I hate complaining. I am so sorry. Yet I’ve been doing this for years.

So…my mom recommended me to exercise, which I commensed. I walked for a few days, but due to my muscles atrophying, I was left using my hip muscles to walk up the hill.

Now I am not able to properly walk.

And now I am hallucinating. In the morning/daytime, my paranoia is much better and less bothersome, but at night it becomes a living nightmare.

I’m just going back and forth in mood swings and my life is just blurred with horrible pain and suffering that is radiating my entire fricken body.

Injuries, physical illness, and sz…it’s not easy right now. I feel like my life is falling apart.

I absolutely hate this. I hate it.

I hope you feel better soon. I think it’d be a good idea to take walks, short ones if possible, to keep your muscles from further atrophying.

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I tried exercise. It’s very difficult. I think you have to start off really easy on yourself. I went to intense cycling and my body didn’t like it and I gave up.

My life falls apart every so often, but remember, it can change for the better. I have had a rough couple of months, but my case manager has got me thinking straight again, and I hope you can too.

A med adjustment and bentos have seen me mostly through a rough patch. I’d suggest if you’re getting these issues to try something similar to release some stress.

Hang in there.


@Joker @anon40653964
Thanks guys.
I am physically and mentally exhausted. In tons and tons of pain.

I don’t want to blame others. I just blame myself.

After all…
It’s me who has both MD and sz.

You might consider signing up for some classes where you work out in the water. Might be easier on your hips while slowing the atrophy of your muscles.

Important with exercise to start small and not try too much especially if your on meds. It is recommended you talk to your regular doctor and to make sure the heart and other systems are working well.

We are always more hard on ourselves than others but cut yourself some slack and maybe work on some exercise that isn’t making you pained!

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When exactly did you ask God to bestow you with muscular dystrophy and then schizophrenia?

Definitely not my choice, but I just can’t stop hearing my mom saying, “I must have sinned in my past life to make my daughter suffer from a horrific illness.”

I’m alone in my journey, really. My mom believes no subtype=no dx and so it’s extremely stressful.

My communication with her has been hitting the wall. I just have no idea what else to say without my mom blaming her “past life” or something about what others might have done before me.

Thank you. I think I might just go to a rehabilitation specialist. If I just keep trying other things without knowing the dangers of it, I will end up ruining myself even more.

My life is seriously a mess.

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Sounds like she blames herself, but then you blame yourself too. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It just is. There’s no blame in this.

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Have you been genetically tested for muscular dystrophy?

Also, if you simply believe you can’t exercise and never mobilize your muscles, they will definitely atrophy. You need to find that middle ground between extreme pain and extreme immobility, since the latter is just as bad.

I wish we all knew that. I wish that we just stop yelling at each other for whoever caused the sickness, and just accept it as it is. I want her to stop rejecting it and stop enforcing it on me.

I’m exhausted and I am okay if I die. Death is a normal phase.

Yes, recessive inheritance in the gene TTN, with a de novo mutation.
But my mutations are still VOUS because TTN is apparently the largest gene in the genome and people know very very little about this. And that’s why I don’t have a subtype.

I know that too much pain is not good but I can tolerate little pain. After I recover from this pain I must find something to get my life back together.

IMO you should find a Creatine supplement, that speeds up muscle recovery and reduces the painful period. Also, eat a good amount of protein.

I dont know how to help, but just send you hugs and good thoughts!

That’s okay. Thank you for being here!

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