sorry if it’s a bit long
I have spent the last 9 years hoping for my husband to become more outgoing than what he is
He wants to garden and build a model railway
he has no desire to go out for the sake of anything other than the occasional single trip in the day but even this is rare
since moving recently to his old town and getting independence living further apart from my mum… i am now housewife and travel 2 + hrs each way once a week to see my mum for one night or two
I spent the last nine years wanting things to go back to how they were when we were “courting”
now married 9 years and he is a recluse and instead of making gourmet food every day (which I have loved to do it’s a great hobby) I now want to join a walking group
I have committed myself to (every day when he is not at work) leaving the house in the mornings to cycle / go shopping for food…
I now think that this time is not enough - it is only enough if i’m exhausted
he still then would not want to go out in the afternoon either = leaving me secluded for another 22 hours
This is not enough for me
I’m joining a walking group - although this is going to be one trip a week roughly
it will be difficult because i’m not social myself -
I hope it will be my one thing i am any good for in the week (IE like volunteering)
The walking group have walks from 4 mi flat to 18 mi hilly so there is scope for improvement
This is something i wanted to do for years
when i bought up the topic he almost cried and said that if i do that it means he has failed
he just can’t fulfil all my needs. yes as an aspergers couple both of us ‘only need one friend’
but him being such a househusband it is like he has created a stable base where it’s like living with mum (sorry if that sounds terrible)
he is amazing and i could not be stable without him
I love him stupidly much and it’s okay not to be blindsided into staying at home
i really see i have limits too
I’m gonna start with a 4 mi walk once a week
