My head last night just jotted some stuff down

The voices don’t want me to write.Trying to make my mind blank now, numb. But I feel the crazy buried beneath that was controlling my every thought just a second again.
"You want me hear I am you ■■■■■■■ whore."
So I hear you have been ■■■■■■■ around ehhhhh?
That’s total ■■■■■■■■ voice. Why do you tell me lies?
■■■■ why do I talk back to you?
Losing touch of reality. It’s an off and on thing in my day. These voices they never really go away.
God talked to me again. Oh how I love him. Oh how I hate him for not being real. Yet I have to believe in a god to get threw my day. I can’t tell the difference most the time. He is just so real to me. ■■■■ schizophrenia! ■■■■ this disease!
■■■■ the pot and the booze and the horrible things I do.
Look at yourself from the outside.
These things are cool for normal people but only make you worse. Can’t do them. Your a mom of 3. It’s disgusting. Read me everyday.
Pray pray pray.
Try to differentiate between your prayers.
God help me!
Not you god go away

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I used to type down my hallucinations and give them to my mom and doctor so they could understand what it was I was going through. It alarmed them very much but it got their heads in mine and they knew what happened. I haven’t logged hallucinations for a long time, but maybe if it gets really bad I’ll do it again. I dunno-I have a hard time.

I’ll tell you a secret to a military methodology which is the concept of reporting data on a radio or to a superior. It’s an acronym called, SALUTE-

Size
Activity
Location
Unit
Time
Equipment

With some memorization you can get an edge on how you communicate with your family and doctor by filing your own reports to your doc and fam. Let them know what you go through and maybe they’ll be more proactive instead of prejudiced or misunderstood.