My head is a radio

And it switches between different frequencies. On one frequency I hear very kind and loving entities that want to help me. On another frequency I hear terrible evil things that want to consume me/destroy me.

A radio can’t be on two frequencies at the same time. It can be sort of close to another one so you faintly pick up what’s happening on the other station but you’ll never hear it as clearly as the station that’s on the actual frequency you’re set to. So generally if I am on the good frequency I can’t really hear the bad guys, if I’m on the bad frequency I can’t really hear the good guys.

I have maybe some control over this radio. Not very much control, but I can feel drawn towards a certain frequency and that may make it more likely to switch to that. Sometimes not but sometimes yes. So you’d think I’d spend all my time trying to stay on the good frequency so I can hear the loving entities. But I don’t…today I felt drawn again to that darkness, to that bad entity. I haven’t heard from Plague in quite a while now, probably like 2 months? But today I picked up his voice just faintly and he said that he was my teacher the same as the good ones were. And he said I couldn’t cry over it because I was the one who had chosen him as a teacher. He said that I liked him because I felt I deserved to suffer and deserved to be punished. He said “isn’t it great to learn and be punished for your sins at the same time?” Like killing two birds with one stone. He was laughing at me again.

I began to feel very confused and scared. I didn’t want to set the frequency back to his station but suddenly I wanted to talk to him more, I had questions. But I tried to clear it from my head and then I got to work and got focused on that and the outside world again.

Mine isn’t a radio station but the same couple of voices threatening me and insulting me. Sometimes there are more voices but some of them remain the same.

I would argue to not try and change the channel to the radio station yourself. Whenever I try and control the voices it takes everything and that is all I focus on.

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cross talk and static…makes the headache known.

I hear nice voices and mean voices too. I also feel like I can choose which ones to listen to. If I pay attention to one voice it will start talking over the other voices. One of my voices also says I’m bad and deserve to be punished. He says I’m a bad person and I will be tormented forever.

The nice voices say that I am loved and that I’m not that bad. He says worse things happen every day than what I’ve done.

However, I don’t believe him whenever he says this. I tend to believe the negative voices more.

Why do you believe the negative voices more?

My voices can talk to my brain and I am conscious of it but they can also talk directly to my subconscious which can make me feel great or horrible. At least if you hear them, you know what they are saying. These brain bastards can talk directly to my subconscious and I have no idea what they are saying. It’s terrifying. Apparently, I signed up for this at some point but God knows why.

I think I’m just pessimistic. I tend to believe the negative more than the positive in life.

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I feel my head is a radio too! I experience the same type of stuff you talk about in this post you wrote.