To stop and think in situations. Just 15 minutes ago is a good example. I was at the grocery store picking up a few items and when I got up to the checkout there was some old guy my age ahead of me. I looked at him and I’m not sure what happened but if I had to guess I would say we didn’t like each other on sight and maybe a few hard looks and maybe a little laughter was exchanged but as he walked off I just looked at him.
But the cashier was this young girl in her twenties and the bagger looked like she was about 19. But both of them were paying unusual attention to me. I read the situation as that the guy ahead of me was some mean jerk and the girls thought I was nicer and cooler. They seemed to be giving me friendly looks.
But I left the store and I was driving away and I was thinking about the incident and I thought, wait a minute, were they pitying me? Did that old guy make me look bad and the girls weren’t looking at me because I was cool or I was nice, they were looking at me out of pity because that guy had somehow been mean and made me look bad.
And the more I’m thinking about it, the second situation seems much more likely. Pretty young girls with good jobs just don’t go out of their way to support old guys with messed up hair and a semi wrinkled shirt. Life just ain’t that kind. I know it sounds like a small incident but it’s just another situation where I think one thing is happening at the time and when I think about it later I was totally wrong.
The worst part is that in these situations it’s usually when I think something positive is happening at first and usually I think it was actually negative.
During one of my therapy sessions, my psychologist and I got to talking about tv and she told me how she enjoys watching biographies. She said it provides insight into a person of interest. She being a psydoc I could understand. I responded that I watch biographies for the Interesting story/ storyline. There was a moment of silence that we were both like, huh.
To reality check this situation would have taken a level of stealth. You could go back to the same store, same time, same checker/ bagger. And you could just observe. And turn the tide…
I think you need to learn to be a bit more tolerant if you did something like that. I think a lot of paranoia works in with the people around you and the public. You need to ask yourself if they really dislike you or it is just in your head.
U could just take it positively and not think anything of it.
Maybe if that guy looked at u strange it’s just cuz he’s too much in his head too.
Everyone is in their own head too much. That guy those two girls , everyone in the world is paranoid about their own things. Anyone can overthink.
I’ve been relatively calm recently in public. I used to get really nervous when I press something wrong as a cashier.
Some ppl yell and stuff but I usually don’t even apologize or say I’m gonna fix.
I end up fixing it anyways cuz I have 3 years worth of experience as a cashier lol
If I can’t I just book it and call someone else.
When they can’t fix it either and the person is still yelling, I just remember how great of a kid I was cuz for Xmas I would get clothes and socks but I didn’t even through a fit like that 60 something year old did.
I just watch them walk off and think wow yea that was quite the episode.
I think maybe the guy who looked at u funny acted like that somewhere and that’s his demeanor when he goes to stores now.
At least ur handling things better and u got to see some younger ladies giggle
Great insight. Thanks for the examples.
They deal with a lot of jerks. I’m certain you were happily welcomed because you were nice. You were right the first time. They were happy to serve you
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