After the meeting we went to the other day, he said he felt like some of the others were hinting at him to leave me alone.
He doesn’t want to help me with finances, or receive money from me anymore. He also said he’ll be putting my key in my mailbox tomorrow, and that this way I can have all the alone-time I desire.
Nothing I say seems to convince him I actually do want to spend time with him. I feel like this might be the end of our friendship.
I feel sad. I’m kinda relieved about the money aspect, but I’m sad he doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.
He even hinted that I was being ungrateful about the things he does for me.
I don’t know what to do. It seems like the best thing I can do is just leave him alone and hope he comes around. But I have a feeling he won’t.
This feels odd.
I even told him even though I sometimes wish I had more alone time, I don’t want it ALL the time. There’s gotta be a balance.
Ugh, how I hate drama.
It sounds like he’s a very all-or-nothing person. It’s normal to want some time alone. Maybe he will come around and see that he misses your friendship. Don’t give up just yet.
He’s an abuser and this is his big showy gesture of trying to force you to submit to his demands. Threatening to leave you alone if you don’t do x or y is a classic abuse tactic. In a few days, he’ll come back and say he’s giving you another chance. I bet it takes exactly as long as the next time he tries to buy food without your card.
I agree with Ninjastar. This guy is an abuser and just wants your money. Stop letting him take advantage of you. This is your chance to be a free grownup. Why do you need him? You don’t and if you make excuses then you’re saying you want to be used.
I just don’t see him as a bad person. I suppose he is a bit abusive, but he doesn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like he wakes up in the morning and goes “I think I’ll screw Nova over today just for kicks”
I don’t need him, per se, but I like his friendship, at least the good aspects of it. I’ll miss him.
I think @ninjastar and @ZombieMombie make good points. You might miss him but maybe you’ll meet someone who is a better friend. There are good people in the world.
I fell out with my gf and now we are on bad terms, i dont think we can come back from this, she’s trying to blame me but its not my fault, all i have ever done was to try and make her happy, i just wish the feeling was mutual
I’m a free bird now
it sucks doesnt it @Pikasaur
No, most abusers aren’t like that. But he doesn’t see your feelings as equally important to his own, and doesn’t care about hurting you to get his own way. That’s what an abuser does. Not a friend.
The reason people with mental illness get abused is because we take it. It’s so easy for us to fall into the trap of “I’m not a good enough person I a m Lucky he\she spends time with\does things for me”.
You deserve better. Nothing you have ever posted about this guy says “friend”. It screams user and abuser. Don’t let yourself fall into that transferring the small nice things he does track you I to believing he has your I treat at heart. He doesnt. You are a means to an end. An entire group pointed it out so you know that we aren’t wrong.
I don’t think you’re entirely wrong, I just feel like he’s being misrepresented by me. He’s done a lot of great things, and he’s always been there when I’ve needed him. Every time I go to the hospital he visits and/or calls every day and brings me things.
He told me the other day to never tell myself I’m dumb because he thinks I’m actually very smart.
Friends do that.
I know how it sounds. Stockholm Syndrome.
I can’t convince you guys he’s a good person any more than you can convince me he’s not.
I do believe he is a bit too emotional and could probably be a little less self-focused from time to time, though.
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