My First Psychosis, Delusional Thinking. To Now (Trigger Warning)



Once Again.

Here Is A Brief Summary Of My First Psychosis And Leading Into It, To Now. . .


For Three Month’s (Many Moons Ago), Before My First Diagnosis, I Was Spinning Out Of Control. I Wasn’t Doing Anything Wrong, I Was Severely Lost In The Spiritual Art Of Gazing Into The Center Of Each Star Up Above, Each And Every Night. The Entertainment Industry Said Hello. The Movie, ‘The National Treasure’, (The Original), Was On Television Showing Trailers That Really Captured My Attention. I Had A Job. I Was Working. I Was Far From Home. Had A Girlfriend. And Living Comfortably.

On Days Off, And Evening’s, I Spent My Time Listening, And Being Fascinated By The Band Radiohead. Mostly Music From Them I Didn’t Even Know Existed. I Knew About Each Album That Had Been Officially Released. But!, There Were Many Rare Gems That Fans Had Recorded, (Not To Mention The EP’s), That, When I Discovered These Tracks, I Felt Like I Discovered A Hidden Treasure Underground. Near The Center Of The Earth.

And For Anyone Wondering, I Became A True Fan Of That Band, When ‘Ok Computer’ Was Released. Kinda Off Topic (???). Hmm!.

Point Is, One Day, As I Was Trying To Understand Why The Media Was Sending Me Messages During Live Broadcast’s. I Seen A Commercial For A Local Lawyer. My Energy Spiked As I Raced To The Phone To Call A Crew, That Seemed Like It Was A Key To Solve My Confusion. So I Called The Number. And As The Secretary On The Other End Of The Line Was Asking Very Professional Questions. I Quietly Stammered And Realized I Was Out Of Place Completely. So I Rushed To Hang Up And Hang My Head In Shame.

The Days Grew Still. And I Thoroughly Enjoyed My Status During Working Hours. I Was Talkative, Out Of The Confusion, And Was Even Offered An Assistant Manager Position. I Declined The Offer Since My Math Skills Are Low, & I Was Comfortable With The Position I Was Already In. Needless To Say, There Was A Universe Creeping In. Like Mythological Creatures Beginning Their Plans For Me To Reach My Purpose And Destiny. Hmm!.

During The End Of My Stay Where I Was At, ‘YouTube’ Jus Began It’s Operations Online. I Was Terrified Of People Claiming To Care About Me. The Metaphorical Ghost’s Were Digging In Cemetery’s To Find The Most Sacred Spot To Lay My Decaying Body.

I Was Sent To A Facility After Some Strange Moments In My Life. And Was Fed Pills. Had To Speak With Seemingly Endless Counselor’s, Nurses, Doctor’s, And Got To Meet A Few Patient’s.

Still Confused. But!, Now With A New Focus. Hmm!.

I Went Back Home. (Still Many Moons Ago), With My Then Girlfriend. Long Story Short, The Relationship Didn’t Work. Not Even In The Slightest. I Became Another Foolish Game Of Hers As I Remained Confused. Still Without A Strong Sense Of Purpose Or Reason. Still Fed Pills. Long Before My Parents Passed Away. Long Before My Family Threw Me Away. Long Before Everyone I Have Ever Known Disappeared. Hmm!.

Fast Forward To Now!.

I Left Out Many Hours Of Spiritual Research. Many Hours of Creative Songwriting.

Many Trips To The Facilities. Many Arguments With My Clinic. Injections. And Pills.

I Wrote Three Letters To President Barack Obama.

And I Met One Psychologist Who Turned Everything Around.

So, Here I Am At My Own Apartment. Alone. With Much Drive & Focus. Some Humour.

Still Connected To The Entertainment Industry. Still Interested In Politics.

And Still Ready For Anything.

And Still…, Well…, Still Confused.

I Left Out All of The Details Of The Loathing Upon Me Out Of Jealousy And Fear.


(If You Have Any Questions Feel Free)

~P.s. Hope, Trust, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Endlessly Eternal Peace!.~ :owl: :spider_web: :owl:

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