Schizophrenia.com

My father, the bully

When I was raised in the Soviet Union, it was legal to beat your own kid. So up until I moved to Canada when I was 6, my father beat me with a belt at any nuisance that I had done.

When we moved to Canada, it turned into mental abuse, since you were not allowed to hit your child here.

For as long as I can remember, my father was always a stubborn man, and I mean stubborn. STUBBORN. He was, and still is, to this day, a real piece of assholish work.

It wasn’t enough that I finished college, so he pushed me to go to University; which was a factor in my DX as a SZ. (Although I dont fully blame him for it, it’s just not right)

Anyway, I consider him to be a bully.

For a few months now, he developed this cough which I know is a forced one. He doesnt take any cough mints for it, doesnt take any meds for it, and it just randomly shows up when I’m home alone with him. When my mom or brother is home I dont hear him.

I guess he just likes to feel in control. I dont blame him.

This cough, it’s not a build up cough (you know, how you start slowly and then keep hacking up). No. It’s a loud sudden cough that sounds like a fcking bomb going off.

And my father is like a cat. You cant hear him at all. His workspace is in the basement, and he ocassionally comes up to use the bathroom or to eat or whatever.

I’m resting in my room, doing whatever, and all I hear is this loud cough, and it’s enough to be a PTSD trigger I swear.

Whatever.

I decided that everytime I hear him cough, I’m going to flush the toilet. I’ve been doing it for 2 days now and let’s just say he’s being a sneaky ass fck.

I’m gonna see how this experiment is going to turn out.

Sorry for the long post, I just feel like venting.

Have a cookie

:cookie:

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Good to hear you vent. My father also hit and he was so careless in sight that he could see the opposite of what was, like a small child in his path. I think fathers often feel out of place in a family.

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That’s sounds terrible, I’m sorry you suffer abuse from your father. It would be nice if you get put some distance between you and him.

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For now I cant.

Maybe when my brother gets a job me and him can rent an apartment or something.

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In which country of the soviet union were you born?

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Siberia. :cold_face:

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Oh, Siberia must be cold.

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Yeah it was.

Here in the winter time I walk around in shorts and a winter jacket.

Makes for a good conversation.

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I walk in shorts in winter too

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You’re in Greece ?

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Yes :grinning: 666999

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Must be very hard to forgive this your father. I had to do lots of forgiving where there was no sorry and acceptance where there was no apology. It really haunts me, sometimes it comes out of my concious mind and i tell the world, just by speaking it out when noone is around.But sometimes i post it on Facebook or tell my friends. Sometimes i think its wise sometimes ii think its cowardly behaviour. I could be dead.