My family is a mess

So my younger brother got back from the hospital. He is now going into a dual IOP program for substance use and mental health issues. Unfortunately we are stuck dealing with a lot of legal stuff since a) he had very illegal drugs and b) he had it at school. We’ve had to get a lawyer which is really expensive. My brother has also been expelled for 90 days and is being required to go to this juvie school that is not close to us but my mom will still have to drive him every day. We feel this was an awful ruling because how is he supposed to get better when thrown into an environment with other kids with a million problems too? And his crime is nonviolent. Who knows what other kids he will be with.

I haven’t been staying at home but apparently my mom has been getting drunk all the time and the other night she was so wasted my younger brother (the one with all the issues) had to take care of her and as he was helping her to bed she told him he was the reason for her marital issues (which I’d like to point out started way before any of us were even born). My parents have been sleeping in different beds lately and apparently their fighting has been bad. My dad is just a ball of stress and is doing the best he can while also having a job that he works at 12 hours a day and having to manage a lot of household stuff that my mom just can’t anymore because her functioning has been disintegrating.

Basically everything is just a mess. I feel very sad. It’s like as soon as I got my inner life sorted out and not chaotic anymore now my outer life is falling apart.

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Sorry to hear that things are so rough at home.

I hope your brother does okay for the 90 days he has to go to alternative school.

My sister had to go to an alternative school for a couple months for a non violent offense and said it was strange and intimidating, but not that bad.

Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.

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I’m sorry your family is having all these problems. Try not to take any of it on. Let them deal with it themselves. You just make sure you stay good. The best thing you can do for your family is take care of yourself so that they don’t have to worry about you too. Everything will work it’s way out. It’s not the end of the world that these problems are happening. Your brother will be fine, it’s just a minor hiccup in his life, he will overcome and be stronger for it. Your mom, well that’s another story, that drinking is a problem, Idk what to do about that except I know not to enable her in any way. And it sounds like your poor dad just needs your tlc. I hope you have peace within the chaos.

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@Anna

Both of my brothers have dealt with substance abuse early on. I remember thinking that I felt helpless to assist them or my family at that time. So, I had to be perfect… something that I’m still unlearning.

It sounds like you want to do something. That something should be taking care of yourself. I’m inserting a funny meme. In NO WAY do I think what’s happening to you and your family.

I’m available in PMs, anytime. Sending hugs.

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I’m sorry things are so rough. Maybe you can do a family intervention for your mom. She is influencing your brother to use in order to cope with life whether she realizes it or not. It’s important that she also quits. She needs to be an example of how to deal with stress and how to have fun without substances.

But if doing an intervention is too much or not possible just try to be there for your brother. Don’t judge him. Just listen, understand and be the best role model you can be.

Substance abuse runs in my family so I totally get what’s going on in your family. I’m really sorry you have to deal with all this.

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I’m sorry that you get what she’s saying, @CoCo. Sending hugs. :hugs:

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Thanks @JustTrish.

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I’m sorry @Anna.

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