My Dillemma

Ok so i do karate with my bf and i find it to be really stressful. But for some reason i cant stop myself from participating cause if i do that i will get more uoset with myself since im just quitting something else. Pkus its what has been helping me lately. Even though i find it very painful to be there i enjoy doing it with my bf. But i sprained my knee about two months ago and it is not fully healed. So due to my injury i will not be able to grade at the next grading where my bf can. And by grading he will be able to go to classes that i cant go to and this makes me very upset. Im not sure why but it just does and i cant stop myself from being miserable about it. And i know that eventually i will catch up to him but until then it will be like a living hell. But wuitting would also be terrible especialky since every time i saw my bf i would be reminded of this. Im very frustrated since i dont have any good options and i just cannot accept the reality. So now what am i supposed to do just allow myself to sink into the misery for months before it is all put behind me?

You explained that very well, maybe explain it to your boyfriend. He might miss the next grading. I did Karate when I was a teenager, and even if he grades, you’ll still go to the same classes at the same time. It’s just for part of it, he might be be in a different group doing different stuff, which can happen anyway even if you’re of the same grade.

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He wants to grade. Also we wont be going to the same classes since at the dojo i attend there are different classes for when u arrive at a certain belt level. So i will have to sit at home and watch him go to classes that i cannot attend. This idea makes me very upset to the poi t where i want to run away and never return. It seems so simple and yet it just bothers me and i dont lnow why or how to make it bot bother me so much. I know i would catch up eventually maybe but until then it could be months and every single day until then ill hate it.

Will you have many classes together, or are they all going to be separate? It doesn’t sound like you’re going to have much fun, if you’re going on your own basically.

I believe we will still have some classes together but not all of them. Plus i know even of i put on a smile or pertend that it doesnt bother me it will. I cant help but feel inadequite even tho it is something i cannot control. Nothing seems to helo and i have no good solutions.it bothered me so much i was debating walking away from him and everything but i dont think that is a very good decision either, but i just dont want to have to be in constant pain anymore than i already have to. Just doesnt seem worth it.

So my bf told me he has no problem waiting for me and doesnt know if he will be able to do that grading anyways. So crisis somewhat averted but life is so spontaniouse i am not sure i fully trust it.