My Dad overspent

He bought a front loading washer we couldn’t afford. It had to be returned. My mother was very upset. I was 2-3 years old. It was traumatic. I’ve never been right about money.

You need to stop blaming your parents for all your issues. You’re what, 70? That means you’ve been an adult for 52 years and have had plenty of time to live an independent life and correct their mistakes.

I’m sorry you feel robbed of a normal childhood, and I’m sorry your parents did such a number on you, but it’s time to let it go and take responsibility for your life.

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I lived my entire life by burying trauma. Bad things just didn’t happen. That was how I was raised to think. Now, I am old, retired and getting better care than I have ever experienced before. That is why the traumas are becoming known. I’m learning who I am and why. I give all the credit to my home and my provider who knows what she’s doing.

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What I really wanted to express was that it left me with a horrid idea of what money is. I’m very scared of purchases. Thanks to being in a home, I don’t have to go shopping anymore.

How could your Dad buying a dishwasher traumatize you when you were only 2-3 years old?

You know I love ya Chordy, but I think perhaps you are having false or embellished memories.

It was because it upset my mother so badly. Mother was not totally realistic or together about it, herself. I think she thought she could be killed because of it.

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Okay…fair point.

As a parent, I’ve taken the good my own parents instilled in me…and tried not to repeat their mistakes.

Isn’t that what it’s all about? So each generation hopefully improves?

My childhood wasn’t all roses either. My folks did the best they could. I don’t harbour any resentment against them for some of their poor parenting choices. That’s all in the past and I’ve got my own family now to be concerned about.

My parents were nasty, I don’t think about it often, we parted ways when I was 18 and i never talked to them after that. I’m old now but the things they did still bother me if I get thinking about it

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Yes, and I’m sure my sister views our parents they way you do. But I was never able to establish a relationship with a man nor was I able to have children without marrying. So I’m stuck here, picking my nose and complaining.

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Me too. However my father was too tight about money.

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My mother became very tight about money in order to control her husband. Eventually, I think my father did learn.

My Dad had a stressful job…5 kids…and a wicked temper.

I was actually afraid of my father when I was a young boy. I was always walking on pins and needles around him.

I think this is why I’ve procrastinated a lot throughout my life…never taking chances…worried about the other shoe dropping…etc.

I made damn sure my own children would never be afraid of me, that’s for sure.

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Sounds like there was some give and take between them, however hardlearned.

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