Hello @Hedgehog .
I believe that a life of suffering beats death.
I would try to motivate the man to be alive and try to keep him alive for as long as possible regardless
of how poor his condition may be.
I’m not going to argue with you about it here.
Everyone does not have the same goals as you for how they live and die. So long as he was capable when/if he expressed his wishes, they are valid.
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I don’t want to insult you, @Chess24, because I believe you’re coming from a place of simply wanting to preserve life because you think it’ll sacred no matter what. However, life is more complicated than that and life for the sake of life mustn’t be the goal. When life in a dying body means that your entire experience will forever be suffering, wanting an end to that suffering is reasonable. My dad had a full and wonderful life. He was a brilliant lawyer and master of his domain. He is now reduced to forgetting how to care for himself in the most basic ways, etc. I watched the process of him slipping away and it’s been terrifying for him.
Now, without understanding why, he’ll be undergoing painful surgeries and treatments to give him, what? Another year?
I had strong ideals when I was younger too. Once you experience the intricate complexities of actual life experiences, you understand how generalizations just don’t work.
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My dad is almost gone mentally, @Chess24. And he’s a man of faith. He knows where he’s going after this, and it’s better than what he has now.
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Ok, you’re just wrong, @Chess24. You have no true insight because you’re working with platitudes rather than actual compassion.
I gave you too much credit. However, I don’t wish for you to ever fully understand this situation because you would have to experience it to know.
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I’m sorry for what you and your dad are going through. Keeping you guys in my thoughts.
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My best wishes for your dad. If it’s okay I’ll be thinking of you and your dad.
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Sometimes I wish they’d just leave cancer alone.
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My Dad died of lung cancer and suffered from a form of rapid form of dementia (or maybe the cancer spread to his brain) that was hard on me and my family. I would like to express my sympathy and say that there are few things more horrible than to watch a brilliant man completely lose his mind and to watch his body waste away from cancer at the same time. A year after he died I had a relapse and I want to warn you that things can happen to you a year after your parent or parents die. My brothers had back issues and I had a major psychological breakdown. Be good to yourself and to any family you have left. It’s hard on all of them.
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I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through, @Blizzard. Your words mean a lot to me since you know exactly where I’m coming from and what I’m facing, and what my dad is enduring…
Thank you for wise words and kindness. I hope you and your family are recovering well and healing 
️
My 36 year old brother had stage 4 kidney cancer and wanted everything done. Even advanced life support at the end. We honored his wishes. I believe that the wishes of the patient should be taken into consideration as much as possible. Ask yourself, what would the patient have wanted? If you sincerely don’t know, then it’s all up to the power of attorney.
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I’m so sorry. Seems very unfair.
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So sorry your going through this. It’s never easy.
Many great things with cancer these days but that dementia is a real problem. It is sad to see people who were vibrant dissolve into zombies almost. Much love to you and your family and hope you get some good results.
I’ve a few such drama’s with my family and it’s totally hard!
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Sorry to hear that Hedgehog. I went through this with both my parents. I hope the surgery goes well. At least he has you guys. I’ll tell you one thing I regret most when it came to my dads illness. I didn’t get to tell him everything I wanted to before he died and I didn’t get to thank him for everything I wanted to. I’ll always regret that.
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That breaks my heart, @77nick77. I’m so sorry. But, as a mom I can tell you that my son never has to say more than he has, or do more than he’s done. I love him with all my heart and require nothing from him but his happiness and well being.
I went through this with my mom too. She lost her mind from the treatments and spent her last two years not really herself and suffering. I can’t believe my dad is facing cancer too. Dementia seems like enough for him to have to endure.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words, @77nick77. ️
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I’m sorry to hear about your current life situation. Hopefully you can come to acceptance about his disease, because it is a process especially accepting that one day he might not be here anymore.
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I’m so sorry, @Hedgehog. I know what it was like to watch my dad slowly lose his mind as the cancer spread to his brain. I hope for as little pain as possible for your father. Do you feel like you have enough support right now? You’re going through an awful situation.
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