My crush isn't texting back :(

Sorry if this is the wrong section, I’m still relatively new to this forum. But yeah I feel pretty devastated atm. This girl that I’ve had a crush on since 7th grade (I’m 19 now) happened to show up at this picnic for this church I used to go to. Her mom actually goes there so she decided to tag along, did not expect to see her there at all lol. Was freaking out when I saw her, thought I was dreaming.

But yeah we sat next to each other and talked for like 2-3 hours about college, summer, everything really. I thought it was going really well, it seemed like it at least. I told her we should hang out some time, and she agreed and she gave me her number. I texted her when I got back from the picnic and she texted back. Then the next day my friends told me to wait a day after that so I waited then just texted her “Hey”. Well it’s been a day, and she hasn’t responded. I feel like I’ve done something wrong :frowning:

I didn’t flirt or anything, idk maybe she could tell I was interested in her but I only explicitly asked to hang out. These negative symptoms are so awful, I have nothing to do all day but stare at my computer in the dark so I genuinely wanted to kill some time with someone, I’m so boreed! I would’ve been fine with just being her friend, just to leave the house and hang out cuz nothing is fun anymore. She was the person I always thought was so nice and sweet and the one I always wanted to ask out so it really sucks feeling unwanted.

She was so nice to me in the past, in middle school I had a stutter and she sat behind me and she would wait for me to finish and smile at me afterward for saying “y-y-y-you’reee wwwwwelcome” after she thanked me for passing back the paper. Then in junior year when I was manic outta my mind and did a bunch of crazy stuff she was chosen to write the letter for next year’s class, and she started it off saying “if you didn’t know (me) ur missing out, he made our class so much fun”. And this was when everyone hated me and thought I was a coke head cuz I was so manic.

Idk it just sucks, I’ve flipped over my phone like 100 times today to keep checking if she texted back. I don’t want to let it bother me so much, but I can’t help it. The odds of even seeing her were impossible, like what are the chances? And yet despite all of that I still ■■■■ it up. It just feels like a tease by life. I didn’t even think I believed in fate, but I did for that one moment, after finally seeing her again. This sucks dude :frowning:

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I feel your pain dude. Don’t beat yourself up over it though. You’re sometimes “damned if you do, and damned if you don’t” in life.

How about actually calling her? You can say your phone is acting up and you’re having trouble sending texts sometimes.

But have something in mind to invite her to if you call even if it’s just arranging to go for a coffee.


I agree with @everhopeful,

You should just call her.


It’s been one day. Chill. Text her again with a plan. Be like, hey, I’m heading to xyz around 5 tonight. You busy?



Thanks guys! I just don’t wanna do it too soon and seem too eager or weird yknow? I feel like it’s a stupid rule though tbh, but what can you do

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It is a stupid rule, so don’t follow it. Be you. If you’re the kind of person to want to text a million times a day, do it. Don’t pretend you’re someone else.


HNGGGGGG Ur right I’m just scaredddd, tbh I dunno what to do yet lol. Maybe I can call her tomorrow and by then I’ll think of something


Could be she replied in her head and forgot to actually type it. OR she is nervous and doesn’t want you to think she is overeager by her own fast reply. Tons of things.


‘Hey’ doesn’t really invite much conversation. Could be she wasn’t in the mood to talk when you texted her, and just forgot to pick up the conversation later.

Wait a while and try texting her a question. Like “What are your plans for the weekend?” or “How was school/work today?” or something.

And a day really isn’t a lot.

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Oh man I really hope that’s the case. Idk though it’s been a day, if she had any interest wouldn’t she check if I replied and thereby see that she didn’t? That’s the thing, I don’t know if she has any interest, I don’t want her talking to me only cuz she feels bad. But the thing is I feel like it shouldn’t even be at that point yet, all I showed interest in was having a friendship, not a relationship y’know?

Yeah ur right I just texted “hey” cuz I was too scared to type anything else and seem weird or anything. I guess I was hoping she would answer and then I could extend the conversation by asking her something like “how’s ur day going” or something.

Idk maybe Im just being a sperg, but nowadays everyone’s got their phone on them all the time so it makes me worried that she saw it and ignored me cuz I weirded her out. Believe me I’d love to think that “it’s only one day, no big deal”, but im so anxious that she’s not interested in talking to me at all :frowning:

ughhhhhhh it drives me nuts when people dont text me back. im clingy as all hell when i like someone lol

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Riiiight? Like I always text back ppl asap. I’m definitely a clingy person as well lol

Oh I feel for you. It’s so hard waiting for a reply from someone you really value, when you don’t know how they feel. At this point, it’s really too early to draw any conclusions about her feelings. She gave you her number, and it was her real number. That’s a good sign.

Young people tend to play the waiting game with texts more often than us older folks. I think it’s because they haven’t had much experience in dating and are afraid of making the wrong move? As I got older, it became more normal to reply as soon as possible to people I really liked. When I was 19 though, I could make someone wait three days or more before responding. The more I liked them, the more terrified I would be to come across as overly eager.


Maybe she looked at it when she was busy, thought “oh, not important in this moment, I’ll message him back later.” But then the notification was fine and she totally forgot about it because she was busy.

I do that ■■■■ all the time. I’m constantly ignoring people on accident.

Just text her something more substantial than " hey" and you’re more likely to get a response.


Thanks, I really hate the waiting game tbh. I wish it wasn’t seen as weird or stalker-ish to be interested in someone, imo texting early shows u care about someone. But I guess waiting seems more “cool” in the sense that you don’t care about talking to the other person, like ur not dependent on them. I still find it annoying though, I wish I could have just gotten home from that picnic and texted her for hours sigh

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That’s a really good point, I really hope that’s the case. Im just scared of texting her again and further weirding her out in the case that she knows she didn’t reply because she didn’t want to. But there’s no way of knowing I guess, maybe in like 2 or so days I’ll text her again but with a plan of what to do this time

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Just calm down, man. You didn’t do anything thats the first thing you need to understand, second you can’t expect everyone to message you at a timely matter remember we have lives and stuff to do especially at 19. Realize if she doesn’t text you back, its ok its not the end of the world, relax.

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I aint gon lie man theres plenty other woman if she aint messing with you anyway. But id relax. At first i would be like how u are but after a while that feeling will pass. Just text her again 2marrow and if she dont reply she shady wey

@anon97970229 I’ll try!
@Ayecoop I know, she just means a lot to me is all

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