My Corona is fast becoming a crown of thorns

I had the worst night in years, fever, aches, copious sweating, non-stop nightmares and feverish closed-eyes hallucinations. So far so good, but what I don’t understand is the sudden drop in my mood. I’ve been feeling tearful, intensely longing for death, aware of being a purposeless abomination. Am I even human? Oddly enough I’m not paying much mind to thoughts about demons, but at the same time the intensity of my death wish has increased. Feeling guilty, worthless, lost in a world I’m increasingly struggling to understand. In fact, I no longer understand anything at all, everything is random, what makes this fabled “me” me eludes me, I don’t know true from false anymore. Can anyone relate to this, perhaps offer some guidance? Sorry about the rant.

Do you think you need to be hospitalised because of covid?

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No, I don’t really have any breathing difficulties.

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Je pense donc je suis. As long as I’m able to keep thinking, there’s a me. Unfortunately, I’m not a philosopher so I can’t help you with complex analyses.

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I wish I could believe that.

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You are real. You do exist. You have a purpose, you are not worthless.

I hope you feel better soon.

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I hope you feel better soon

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Try to remind yourself that your death wish is just caused by the virus,andit will pass. I’m not sure I have much more advice than that. The crisis text line is very good for venting late at night. 741-741.

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I too hope you feel better soon!

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I’m sure your mood will change when you recover. I hope you’re well soon.

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