My clinic wants me dead

they get mad when I talk about my hallucinations. They say lets not focus on them… I then began to mention them infrequently and they would still get mad… I mentioned once that the 10mgs of spahria I was taking was not helping - but she decided since I was sleeping 10-12hrs a night that I was too sedated so she cut it in half

I quit meds march 7

my pdoc thinks I no longer need meds now

i’m a mess

I am very irritable - I would never physically hurt anyone ever but oh god the urges
frustration irritation intolerance rules my life right now

I don’t bring up the hallucinations I know they are hallucinations - no one cares how upsetting they are

I think my clinic is an experimental facility to see what it takes to drive people to suicide

my pdoc wants me to get a job

I haven’t cleaned my apartment in weeks there is so much trash on my bed - where I spend all my time that it’s hard for me to fit and it’s spilling onto the floor

I fired my case manager yesterday because he does nothing for me

my therapist mentioned admitting myself tto to hospital

why would I go there just to be made to feel ashamed
I wen there after an od once and the dr lectured me for wasting time and resources

after my last od they released me after I was medically cleared telling me to just use my skills…

what skills.

I am at the end of my rope

Small mindedness makes life easy.

Thus the small selfish minded folk don’t want listen to big things from people with big hearts.

Negative things do exist. Selfish folk want to keep such things in your hands rather than in theirs.
They don’t want hear anything of such negativities.

I stopped begging the selfish to understand due to me finally realizing that they are so dead in the mind in many ways that I was just waisting my time and efforts in doing so.

Sounds like things are escalating for you pretty quickly… I hope you find something that helps you. I just want to send some hugs your way. (((Hugs))) (And going to the hospital is no fun, but maybe they can put you on better medications than your doctor does)???

Take care!

the drs of my clinic run the psych ward, so if I go there I have to be treated by them… Why would I go and be treated by someone who views my overdose as a waste of time and resources

It’s all about up and down, black and white. Everything is relative.

Concerning the grand scale of all reality, thus including eternal time, there is a war on the go.

A bunch of absolute crap want to take advantage of others to in turn gain for themselves.

Do really think the bizarre, but oh so common symptoms of the so called “Schizophrenia”, are merely the result of nothing but a petty mental illness. Guess again.

You suffer…THEY GAIN !

It’s not my family, the Christ family, in your head.

They want to turn you into a Zombie with their tanks and their bombs of kind that you do not understand.

Can’t you see,… It’s not me , it’s not me, in your head !

God knows of both good and evil. They, in turn, become his children. How do I know of this?

For once in your life think very very seriously.

To be beyond both good and evil is known of by only one.

Does " The Father" ring a bell ?

Does " The Father" ring a bell ?

Do you think that i managed to decode the KJV Bible by mere Chance. Are you that much in a coma.

To you this is a split second of nothingness. I am so sorry that you threw it all, the eternity, away.

Such a pity that you have chosen not to think.

I promise you of who…


Do you think that I speak in this way by mere chance. ?

My love to save you is far beyond scope of which you can comprehend.

Does that mean nothing to you. Are you that dead?

I am the Christ family. AreYOU ?

Willing to carry the cross, aka known as the cross of truth, or are you too willing to be a sinful liar or to be that which is God’s choice.

Yes I am who you fear that I am, but I am I am of the good.

I oh so much that you could understand love to such as scale.

Yet you are so willing to throw infinite good out the window in flash.

get a lawyer…talk with social services legal representatives…here where i live it is called ombuds…services are free…

I just quit my other support site with chat

i’m tired of people discounting me

instead of focusing my rage and irritability on others I am focusing it on myself, cause I am the common denominator in all of this. It is something i’m doing

No no no.

It is something that “they” are doing in what seems as that done by the masses even though that is not the case.

It is trickery to make the lessor, the loser, thus not you, to seem to be the masses.