My biggest sh*t is how I'm not in a right mood for music

My biggest sh*t is how I’m not in a right mood for music making/listening.
My inner wizard uplifts my mood to a right mood, but then my Sz symptoms pushes it back down.
It’s the same thing like not liking a color yellow. And my sound is actually pretty good in my music.
It’s really seriously phucked up situation for any kind of artist really.

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I read some time ago

that the hardest thing your brain can do is listen to music.

I think if you can breakthrough, your brain will get strong.

Listening to music is almost always good for those without mental problems. I was able to listen to really sh*t stuff and still no problems.

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Yes, that can really suck with this condition. Even if you are good at something, you sometimes just have no drive, motivation or pleasure while doing it. I soo can relate to this feeling.

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My eye sense starts making the colors to bleach and ears start over-contrasting the sounds when this happens. This condition ruins our expeience and being a ‘wizard’ should usually work for us. But this ain’t up for me anymore, it seems.

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