Schizophrenia.com

My biggest mistake was

I sold my xbox one when I went psychotic. :disappointed_relieved::cold_sweat: I was running out of money as I ran away from home.

Now I miss my xbox … planning to convince my parents to buy play station 5. I hope I get one soon.

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I did worse while psychotic. I left 5000$ worth of electronics including a 3000$ gaming computer, 4K screen, etc in Germany thinking they were poisoned with a radioactive poison and hacked. I thought they could infect it with a radioactive poison by hacking it remotely.

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If that’s your biggest mistake,

You’re doing pretty good.

Seriously,

I’m sorry you don’t have an xbox, hope you get a replacement soon.

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Breaking up with my first girlfriend. I never found anyone better, and the relationships never lasted more than a year or two after that.

I’m kind of naturally a loner, so it’s hard for me to live together with someone

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You said you are from Canada right?

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Thank you. :grin:

Although there are other mistakes like foul mouthing my family friends and relatives but selling xbox hurts me the most.

Yes, I went to Germany while psychotic/unmedicated thinking I am reincarnated Hitler.

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I hope it all gets sorted soon for you.

:exploding_head:

That’s one hell of a story.

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That’s nothing. I wasted/destroyed a good computer thinking there was a bug in it; I went to the wrong university/went to school thinking I was ‘special’, thinking I could ‘succeed’, thinking I was ‘normal’.

Posting my thoughts online – pretty much anywhere. I doubt I’ll ever work or have a life again. Maybe it’s just me being paranoid, but I don’t know. I think people talk about me sometimes and I ‘hear’ it, but mom thinks I’m hallucinating and brother thinks I’m ‘paranoid’ and delusional. I think it’s real. I pick up on noises but it’s gibberish mostly. Like I can hear down the street and hear through walls and stuff like a freak/mutant lol.

Every time I dream, I’m reminded of the delusion I was in mk-ultra Monarch, I guess. I think it’s real, but everyone denies it. I figured I was in Montauk and SSP too. Every time I go to sleep and dream, I wake up remembering and reliving it.

That’s why I think my reputation is ruined and destroyed. Seems to happen in every life because I suffer so much and am trying to recover and heal and move forward. There’s no point sometimes or hope, I feel.

I thought I was John Titor the time traveler in a past life, Satoshi Nakamoto in a past life, and other people too. Feels like I’m reincarnating or a clone or on the wrong planet. It depends on the climate of the planet and other people. I’ve been to hell and back many times. Maybe aliens? I don’t know. Maybe a sense of Westworld a bit much?

I have no money and I feel like this is bull crap. Like I was set up or something. I don’t know. It feels like my life was ruined in my time loop/infinite causal loop with little to no memory or recall. It scares me a lot.

Posted all my fears, delusions, and what happened to me in other lives over the years out of fear and desperation and wanting to end the pain again. I felt over emotional and helpless.

I’ve lived countless past lives maybe countless infinity I don’t know. It’s like a modified version of many worlds theory inside various computer simulations. It’s like they copied me from one reality to another constantly and I’ve been to hell or worse and back many times. It’s like a brain copy and into a new body or same body.

I went insane a long, long ass time ago…

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Its hard for me to have regrets. I went through some awful stuff, for sure. But if I hadn’t I may never have met Mr. Star. I may never have decided to adopt. I would definitely be worse off without my wonderful partner and kids.

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I maxed out 5 credit cards and ruined my credit. I left my marriage. Oh I have many mistakes.

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I hope you are fine now.

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Oh dude that’s a tragedy.

I had a PS4 upgraded to 2TB hard drive that I destroyed with water when my voices told me to back when I was psychotic. I also crashed and lost my truck, so I know what it’s like.

These days I don’t listen to voices, and I have a Series X.

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My biggest regret is leaving my x boyfriend in sa and the dogs.
It was pretty perfect home and relationship and ones I love most.
I left the one I love most because I wanted to give my horse a better paddock and I wanted to stop eating meat.

My other regret is having a abortion when I was psychotic with voices 24/7 etc.
My family told me I have to because I couldn’t look after myself even.
The father was best sex ever and I wonder if we could have made a family and be happy but I was soooo psychotic and was hearing his mum etc and had paranoia against them.

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Sorry to hear. I have got the same problem. It’s difficult living to close with someone. I realized i might be alone the rest of my life with only friends and family.

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How is series x compared ps?

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I feel sorry for you.

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I don’t know if this is what you want here, but one time I was driving from Norman, OK to Muskogee, Ok, and I was really, really drunk. I’d picked up a hitch hiker. Anyway, I changed lanes when this pickup was moving up fast behind me. I don’t remember if I signaled. The pickup went into the median and nearly turned over. The hitch hiker told me to keep going, and that is what I did. I’m pretty sure no serious damage was done, but it was only luck that prevented that. This happened nearly forty years ago. There are a few other rotten mistakes I’ve made. I’m thinking that maybe before too long I will be ready to do an AA fourth step.

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Series X is really good but there aren’t a lot of new games for it yet. PS5 has a few newer games like Spider Man and Ratchet and Clank. I mostly play old games on the Series X though so it’s no big deal. It has a neat feature where it suspends games when you change to a different one, so you can pick up right where you left off when you come back.

I use it to watch streaming services and right now I’m playing Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition on it.

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