In a few days I’m flying out to stay with my sister for a few days.
While I’m there I’m meeting up with my son and his daddies,
Also visiting my best friend in our hometown.
I have zero anxiety about hanging out with my sister,
She’s the best.
But I’m getting more and more nervous about seeing my son and his daddies.
He’s been asking a lot of questions about my husband and I,
Also about the adoption.
This will be my first trip ever to see them without my husband to kind of lean on.
I’m afraid to brave these questions of his on my own.
And going back to my hometown.
I can’t go anywhere in that place without running into ten people I know.
Most I’d rather forget.
My friend is setting up a practice there and wants to show it off,
I want to see it, but there’s no way to avoid the hicks I grew up with.
For realz, I can’t handle a lot.
Even day to day stuff so this trip is really eating at me.
I don’t know what I can do calm down about it.
I’m most afraid of having some sort of meldown in front of my child and his parents when he asks about the adoption.
My therapist says it’s okay if I do,
And the daddies have seen more than a few very emotional moments from me.
I’m just terrified of the whole thing.