I didn’t know where else to put this, so I’m just filing it under recovery- prepare yourself for unbridled happy and emojies.
Before anyone says anything about the omg contraction- she is very religious and I am somewhat guess that oh my God would be taking the Lord’s name in vain???
It’s her birthday today. I totally missed it. I thought it was in August when I got back from my trip because I remembered bringing her a tea set. But I brought her the tea set from a trip on Thanksgiving last year for her birthday and I just got confused.
I don’t know if she is more excited about this or I am. She was really sick the begining of this semester so she had to withdraw and go back home. I am so excited!!! So I haven’t actually talked to her yet but I texted her furiously.
I wish I could go tell someone but she said not to tell anyone at school because she had a way she wanted to do it. I know she saw this coming at some point- they had promise rings for a while (she is over 20 too so this isn’t a "oh we are in sixth grade we will be together forever!!!) So this is a sensible age.
They are so perfect for each other!!! I watched him like a hawk when he came here. She came here first. I didn’t really see much of him because they were so lovey dovey that I was afraid it wouldn’t last but at the same time that’s kinda uncomfortable to be around. But we had a long talk and apparently they had been dating for two years now. She has known me for only one year. I never particularly asked- but every time I saw him I was watching him for any sign of disloyalty, meanness, stupidity, anything negative. He is a very quiet person- I have never seen him say more than 50 words when I was around (and that was over about 10-20 minutes) but other than that we have only spoken about two sentences at a time to each other. I liked this because I interpreted it as loyalty and a desire to not get into a compromising (appearing) spot by being too friendly with her friends.
It made my assessment harder but I highly approve of that. Even if nothing is going on or ever was going on between your boyfriend (now fiancee!) and one of your friends any appearance of it could very likely damage both our relationships with her. The important thing for him is her happiness. As her friend that is my priority too- but because I am just a friend as opposed to boyfriend or fiancee my priority is more towards my fiancee- but she is number 2 on that list (this list excludes family. Meshing those two into one list would be a complicated nightmare).
But we have been talking a lot more now that she has been sick because D (her fiancee) is premed, works, ect. and because she lives several hours away from here so that cuts down on the time they can spend together. He would help he would help her take notes in her classes and walk her to class. I thought that + a difficult major + work would make him fail- but he is still here, still working, and still in the same major. To me this displays intelligence as well as strong time management skills and good communication skills within a relationship. This was an important component in my approval. I am in no way insinuating that she couldn’t take care of her self, but (as just happened) anyone can become gravely ill unexpectedly or have some other disaster that would make it hard or impossible to work. To me the pre med is a plus because if any more health issues rise he will be in a wonderful position to make the best possible decision and would probably either know or be able to find the best doctors. Doctors all seem to know each other somehow.
She has been trapped in several abusive relationships and I read about how people who have been through that tend to find the same sort of relationships later so I was very watchful. However we have been discussing our relationships with our significant other more recently which is cause for my over whelming approval. The above stuff is good- but this is what really counts. I did not base this on her opinion (he loves me, stuff like that) because people can get stupid about love and emotions. But the actions she describes, the level of care (helping her with her hard classes to name the least of them) seals it.
Ok… I’ve calmed down a little. I couldn’t call C because men don’t understand the excitement of this the way women do. A ring is a public commitment. You might be serious, you both might be serious, but getting married says “I trust you enough to not take half my stuff or more”. And you are the one who makes the final call regarding health- resuscitate, do not resuscitate, would he or she want to be on life support? If so for how long? Ect. That is why marriage is so important to me. I understand that people can be together and not get married and be just as happy or more happy. You can prepare a statement that you want your significant other to have power of attorney, be able to make the final call, ect. (or at least I assume) but I don’t think lots of unmarried couples do that for the same reason that people don’t like making out wills.
Also (at least to me) getting engaged is a big sign of commitment. Lots of romantic comedies (or at least the ones I couldn’t get out of seeing) a guy and girl break up and then when something about his new relationship comes up with her friends or with him for whatever reason she is mad because they were together for several years and he never proposed to her but when he met this new girl he proposed to her within several months. It’s also reassurance (at least for me) that when I get old and I’m no longer as cute and thin he won’t just bail on me. Of course a wedding ring is absolutely no indicator of that. But I think it is more like a security blanket. Someone up front promised you they wouldn’t do that to your face in almost those exact words. No him saying - well you must have known this wasn’t forever- or some stupid stuff like that. I have found that lots of guys do that, act like they are serious but it is just a temporary thing for them. But then again I haven’t had many boyfriends. So take that for what it’s worth.