Mussel here

I guess I’ll just say I’m back to anyone who remembers me.

Been through…too much again. Worse this time. Posting here is against my better judgment as i’m having fears about internet privacy. Anyway…I return a broken man…alone…rejected…seemingly persecuted. If it was something I did I’d wish for those I knew and some I loved would be straight with me about it. No idea…I lost my mind. I’m still only regaining, slowly, my ability to think coherently.

I’m just so alone in this right now, I’ve been to some extend or another supported by my family for well ever…but the reality I’m facing is that these people, my family, were not being supportive at all. Every time I’ve lost my mind it’s been in the privacy of seclusion. This time I was on my own and I fear made a fool and public spectacle of myself in my own hometown. I fear my reputation, if I didn’t lose that long ago, may be ruined.

I’m not even sure, okay I’ll say it, there’s been not so veiled threats made by family members that they wish to set me up for something…something awful.

Another week in the psych ward…ten days actually…always humiliating as I’m very shy for my age and I’ve had traumatic experiences medically.

I don’t know…I don’t know who to reach out to. I feel like I’ve been living a 3 dimensional life in a four dimentional world. Something went wrong. Any reassurance or support would be most welcome.

I apologize for the weirdness of this post, it’s just my brain isn’t functioning as sharp as it used to.

I fear if I disappeared at this moment the world would never know who I really am at heart and I don’t know that I at some point won’t. Alone and scared is what.

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Julietta hug coming your way!!..

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is that a cat??? what kind of animal? :smiley:

It’s our new guinea pig…I’ve been showing it off on different threads. :wink:

guinea pig right?

Hope things pick up for you. I know when you’re in the middle of a funk, it’s hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

But hang in there, mate. Things get better over time. :wink:

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I’m still out here on Cape Cod. Recently, I drove into Maine to frequent a casino there.

Jayster

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@Patrick - was actually lving with a guinea pig named Guiness during my breakdown this summer.

@Jayster good to see you, haven’t made it over to maine in ages other then a brief experimental foray to kittery months ago.

@mussel

I’m sorry you hit a relapse. I miss your posts… and I’m glad to see you back.

I hope you can get back on track soon…

Wishing the best for you always… :v:

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You’re still in the game because you have another victory in front of you. You may have encountered some great obstacles. You are not defined by your past; you are prepared by your past. You have a great future in front of you.
(paraphrased words from my favorite inspirational speaker)

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Well, I have sympathy for you. Everything goes wrong at once doesn’t it? We have to face real life problems that everybody faces in addition to what goes on in our head. Yeah, I can empathize.
It’s not a weird post at all, you’re just a person who is reaching out.

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welcome back, mussel. I am sorry you had a relapse and was currently confused about your ego and reputation. Don’t think too much or be too hard on yourself. You will get through this and be recovered.

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Welcome Back @mussel - Hope you feel better soon.

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**Hey @mussel~
Im glad you are reaching out. Wondered where you were Clubhouse friend! Dont worry about what anyone is thinking about in your hometown. Hope you keep getting better. Things will start to even out. We`re here for you!
Much love :yellow_heart: **

wrong thread sorry!