More stupid stuff!

Ohhhhhhhhhh how i would love to have just worked a job and gone home and watched the hockey game, had a couple of drinks and grilled a steak every once in a blue moon! Perhaps i could have even smiled and laughed sometimes, yeah maybe just a smile and laugh. But no!

I really used to love playing and going to hockey games, it was my sport. And now im just dying slowly and completely stressed, they really did a number on me, it’s been so long, seems like forever actually.

It sounds heavenly!

322 on the clock.

911 earlier.


Aaahhhhh the first number though that started happening, 3:00, alien showed up on halloween and drove me crazy and tortured me, it was 3:00 at all times, and then these other goddamn numbers started showing up!

They keep trying to show me what they mean and why they use them but i don’t care, i really don’t give a ■■■■, how do they even find the time for this stupid ■■■■, it’s been years! Who blanking gives a blank!

Awhile back i began to get chills in my organs and i just sat there doing nothing, it was a little scary but who cares i want to die at this point. It was my kidney maybe, deep chills, i crossed my fingers and lept but nothing happened.

It’s been two packs a day and still nothing. I need some barbitol so bad but they say i can’t choose to do it because im crazy! That is every reason to swallow that stuff man! Even if i was in the throws of psychosis you should let me drink it! Wtf kinds of rules are these and who is making them?!

I keep wondering who it is, it’s maddening actually. I don’t know how good the tech is now, if it’s aliens, demons, spirits. It’s maddening! Maddening i tell you!

And why it happened! Why?! It’s stark raving blanking maddening! Why have i been tormented?! Why did you do it?! Even if i was a horrible person this makes no blankety blanking sense!

And ohhhhh the dreams of health and simplicity, a little fun here and there, ohhhhhhhhh the dreams of it and how it was!

Give me some barbitol you psychopathic little mongrel beasts, your rules make no sense. Why would i need to do it myself when i don’t have the means? Way to leave a guy hanging. But hey thats what your best at isn’t it.

hi pansdisease you seem really unwell can you see a doctor and get some help? don’t br afraid to reach out for help sending hugsxxx