More stupid stuff!

Ohhhhhhhhhh how i would love to have just worked a job and gone home and watched the hockey game, had a couple of drinks and grilled a steak every once in a blue moon! Perhaps i could have even smiled and laughed sometimes, yeah maybe just a smile and laugh. But no!

I really used to love playing and going to hockey games, it was my sport. And now im just dying slowly and completely stressed, they really did a number on me, it’s been so long, seems like forever actually.

It sounds heavenly!

322 on the clock.

911 earlier.

111
222
333
444
555

Aaahhhhh the first number though that started happening, 3:00, alien showed up on halloween and drove me crazy and tortured me, it was 3:00 at all times, and then these other goddamn numbers started showing up!

They keep trying to show me what they mean and why they use them but i don’t care, i really don’t give a ■■■■, how do they even find the time for this stupid ■■■■, it’s been years! Who blanking gives a blank!

Awhile back i began to get chills in my organs and i just sat there doing nothing, it was a little scary but who cares i want to die at this point. It was my kidney maybe, deep chills, i crossed my fingers and lept but nothing happened.

It’s been two packs a day and still nothing. I need some barbitol so bad but they say i can’t choose to do it because im crazy! That is every reason to swallow that stuff man! Even if i was in the throws of psychosis you should let me drink it! Wtf kinds of rules are these and who is making them?!

I keep wondering who it is, it’s maddening actually. I don’t know how good the tech is now, if it’s aliens, demons, spirits. It’s maddening! Maddening i tell you!

And why it happened! Why?! It’s stark raving blanking maddening! Why have i been tormented?! Why did you do it?! Even if i was a horrible person this makes no blankety blanking sense!

And ohhhhh the dreams of health and simplicity, a little fun here and there, ohhhhhhhhh the dreams of it and how it was!

Give me some barbitol you psychopathic little mongrel beasts, your rules make no sense. Why would i need to do it myself when i don’t have the means? Way to leave a guy hanging. But hey thats what your best at isn’t it.

hi pansdisease you seem really unwell can you see a doctor and get some help? don’t br afraid to reach out for help sending hugsxxx