Monday was euphoric but

Monday I finally got work after a month. It was a two day construction job. I got paid on monday. I was so happy. I didnt have to eat at the homeless shelter. It was 60 degree beautiful day in february. I went and ate at the asian buffet. I ate the first good meal in a month. I felt euphoria after eating that big meal and knowing i had a little money in my pocket. My heart was beating fast from the euphoria and I couldnt sleep that night. Tuesday came around and i spent all my remaining money on food and a hotel room so i could take a shower and not sleep in my car for one night. Now its thursday and I have no money. Theres no work right now. i had 2.99 left on my card this morning. I bought a small bottle of vodka. I wish I had five more dollars so i could go to the bar tonight and get one beer just to be around people. Im very lonely and the loneliness gives me a panic attack. I might have had five dollars in scrap metal but i drove to the scrap yard and they had the door closed.It may have been closed because its cold but i thought it would be too awkward to go up there and knock in case they were on lunch break or something.

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Have you no welfare programs where you live? What happens when you run out of gas?

I sleep in a 24 hour grocery store parking lot and I only drive to move my car to another strip mall so i only drive about 2 miles a day max. So if i put 10 dollar in gas it will last weeks. Usually itll go no longer than three weeks without work at the day labor place so i normally dont run out of gas. When you say welfare do you mean unemployment?

No, I mean disability. You have been diagnosed, right?

What about food stamps and programs for homeless?

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