What a day - low energy.
I guess you can not drink too much cinnamon.
What are you up to?
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I tackled my laundry and homework. I can’t muster up the motivation to put the laundry away, though… looks like I’m grabbing clothes out of the bin again.
Waiting for the week to be over so I can play urban empire. I can’t play it until the 20th.
Migraine finally called it a day, so can carry on with dishes and laundry.
Did half my homework and sat on my delusional ass the rest of the day. Now it’s time for bed 
Night
I’m just feeling pretty stressed and unstable. Life changes.
Started sleeping with one of my neighbors. Trying to change jobs. Was 100$ behind on money so had to fall back on family. I haven’t been eating properly.
Left a friend seriously pissed off earlier because I tried quiting without two weeks notice.
I mean life kind of got flipped inside out this week for me.
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want to concentrate on something
How’s Ur Abilify going …!!! I think ur all right …!!
Yeah it’s ironic to become dependent on a website that is centered around ones troubles.
It’s a healthy place all in all. Pretty realistic perspectives here and there on here.
Schizophrenia and other mental illnesses have made me loathe one thing more than anything. Overt drug abuse. Even my tendency to drink a couple times a week bothers me.
Tough world when all we need to do is stay sober until we can see our problems clearly enough to work around them… but it’s contrasted by the accessible escape instead.
I’m becoming less of a run away drunk though preferring to have a tactful beer at crucial moments and then get away from booze before I develop the dehydration and emotional despair of a waining buzz.
That’s.not really here nor there, but man I see a lot of bipolar folks who are really wrapped up in addictions.
The human being, the master of suffering. Chronic depression, anxiety, frustrations with work, frustrations with romance. Schizophrenia and overt psycho-emotives. Identity issues. Feelings of inadequacy. The list goes on. Almost everyone has got something.
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I am weak potato 
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lolski bowlskies…
man I’m feeling like a soddy pos today… I gotta get more 5-htp so I can restore my sleep schedule.
I’m also redistributing my work schedule to 4 hours 5 days a week instead of 4 at 6 to 8 hours… I should have more free time and energy to work on the softer side of things.
I’ve stopped writing so much, I haven’t been on this forum so much. I get off work and just loathe my back for being so sore.
At least my complaints are more in the normal range. Schizophrenia sucks. I’ve still got these weird false visual face response things going on.
Being tormented by the image of the girl I was last in love with hovering over me.
Got 5 hours to kill before I start my new job. I also gotta go turn in my 2 weeks at the checkers. Apparently one of the upper management dudes was borderline pissed off and crying when the couple of other guys turned in their two weeks.
Man my best friend is running the department and I can not wait until he gets set up at his new job and all this takes to looking different via the hindsight bias.
Frankly, I’m spoiled in comparison to this man. He’s had to work since he turned 18 to afford anything for himself. He put himself through college and has an amazing amount of work ethic. Along with that though is for him to cast that intrinsic guilt upon people who fall through on their duties and leave him upset… namely me in this case.
Holy ■■■■ though, I’m schizophrenic and I gotta watch my stress levels. The new job I have seems relaxed. They’ll want good clean work and proper customer interactions, but I do suspect a more relaxed pace for the most part. The hours are totally reasonable as well.
Jesus though, when I start disappointing people I just want to get my head out alive. I can’t stand being a failure and I’ve had enough life experience to be pretty good at just moving on. It’s pretty rogue and errant, but ■■■■ for my peace I had to get new work lined up. 7 hours a day in the back of a grocery store and all the complexity of all the people back there.
I did just start really connecting with everyone back there, but it seems a burden in itself to be expected to be friendly with 15+ people every day… all that said I may still go back and hit on the red head. She was one of the more interesting people who started opening up to me right at the end there.
4 more days at the bakery… sundays and mondays… and I’m starting training today at the Jason’s Deli.
Gotta do it right… and it sucks lol. Totally through my bro for a loop just trying to cut it and run. He’s leaving though any way. He himself has less than 10 days left I think… blah blah blah… so it goes.
I’m trying to decide if I want to become a Christian or go birdwatching this morning. What’s the connection? Any normie could easily reconcile the two. I can’t. So see the psych nurse today and go from there.
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The power of Christ compels you… the power of Christ compels you… the power of Christ!!!
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I’m melting! I’m melting! Oh what a world!
I do have the right movie right?
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