Mom Says I'm Destabilizing 😖

Literally nothing caused it. I can’t even pinpoint when it happened. I was watching TV in the living room with my mom and brother, and then my mom kept asking me what was wrong. She said that I was having these weird tics and jerking body movements, and that I was looking around like I was hallucinating (I remember that everything looked surreal, and later, I started seeing light waves). She also said I was having racing thoughts, but I don’t remember having that,

I haven’t been sleeping well because of guilt. I was awake for 38 hours, then on Tuesday night, I had to take my Seroquel (300mg), 5mg of Haldol, and 0.5mg Ativan before I could finally fall asleep. I didn’t sleep last night, either. It’s about 6:30AM right now, and I’ve been awake for like 18 hours.

I hate to be that person, but I sort of wish it were mania, because at least then, I’d have some energy. But no, I’m just exhausted and can’t sleep because I feel like such an awful person. It’s all consuming.

edit: Does anyone else get weird movements with their schizophrenia?

I get weird moments in my arm. Shaking from
Zoloft. But nothing from sz alone??

Sorry you’re struggling with energy/motivation and other things right now.

Yeah I know what you mean rather having mania. I think we’ve all been there (at least those prone to mood issues).

And ps I think I should be reminding you you’re NOT a bad person. You have good intentions and you’re doing your best. Peace :v:

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you didn’t realize you were having this going on?

it sounds like typical schizophrenia symptoms.

I don’t get body jerking, but I make lots of noises
that drives Phil crazy, things like Ah huh, yeah, mmm, hmmm

like I’m agreeing or responding to my thoughts.

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Don’t be afraided, such things happen in this illness,
Stay away from outward world stimulants like TV or loud music or intense lights and also mystical books,

What meds are you on now?

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I feel like the weird part is that I’m not having any mood symptoms, as far as I can tell. Not a one. I feel fine other than being tired from lack of sleep, but apparently, things are pretty bad because my mom called my doctor yesterday morning. I’m not sure what’s going on or what’s going to happen. My mom was saying that I might have to go to the hospital again. I just hope I do’t have to.

No, not until my mom told me.

Thanks Gratitude. I know that I always say and think that I’m a bad person, but the rational part of me is pretty sure that I’m not. It’s just that “pretty sure” isn’t really good enough for me. And like, to me, I think that the feeling of being a bad person is more of a guilty feeling than a shameful one. I feel like a bad person when I’ve a) done something that a person who I might consider to be bad would do, b) I did something that I myself believe to be wrong, c) I did something that I imagine God would consider “sinful,” or d) some combination of them all.

Seroquel 300mg, Lithium 900mg, Zoloft 150mg, Cogentin 1mg, Haldol 5mg prn, and Ativan 0.5mg prn.

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Can you go on without Zoloft?

Some meds cause tics and tremors. Wellbutrin and Effexor did that to me. Parkinson’s can be something that does this and it can cause hallucinations and delusions. Maybe you should see a neurologist as well!

Friend. What do you mean nothing caused it? Your grandfather JUST died. You two were very close. I’m glad your mom is starting to take you seriously. You’ve been heading downhill for a while.

Side note: report those tics to your doctor ASAP. It’s probably just a weird symptom, but it could be a rare side effect called tardive dyskinesia. If you have that, you need your meds changed IMMEDIATELY.

You remind me of me when I was your age

Doctor: have you been under any stress lately?

Me: nah, not really

Also me: just watched my dad and grandpa die and now has custody of two teenagers.

Lol, I’m absolutely certain that I don’t have Parkinson’s.

My mom called my pdoc and I’m seeing him next week, but he said I don’t have TD. I took prn Haldol and it went away. It probably has something to do with how little I’ve been sleeping.

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That’s a relief. It’s usually not TD, but it’s always good to make sure.

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@Sardonic,

Your lack of sleep could be a sign of mania or hypomania. Lack of sleep in itself is a sign of mania in a sza person.

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Can you have mania without all of the energy, grandiosity, and impulsiveness? Like, I feel completely normal other than being guilty and tired.

There’s something called mixed states, which is like all the anxiety and insomnia of mania combined with the self-hatred and irritability of depression. Basically the worst of both worlds. I have only experienced it once, but they can be horrible.

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Lack of sleep can be really detrimental. My advice is to try to get some good rest. As others have mentioned, it’d be a good idea to notify your doctor. I hope you feel better soon circle!

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That’s the strange thing; the only thing that’s giving me anxiety is my fear that I’m evil, hellbound.

My mom made me take an extra 100mg of Seroquel and then I was out, lol. I slept for twelve hours, and I feel so much better.

Thanks, guys, for your replies. It feels nice knowing that people care. :heart:

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Our feelings can be really hurtful when we are tired that rest helps with all the problems we have and our outlook on them.

Yes. I know what you are going through. Manic days are the worst. Try to use every relaxation technique you know. I was going through a similar stage and I told my doctor what was going on. He said: at least your house is clean right? I said: ummmmmm, actually no…oops I’m just doing stupid stuff. :grimacing: You should be crashing soon. I hope.

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