Literally nothing caused it. I canāt even pinpoint when it happened. I was watching TV in the living room with my mom and brother, and then my mom kept asking me what was wrong. She said that I was having these weird tics and jerking body movements, and that I was looking around like I was hallucinating (I remember that everything looked surreal, and later, I started seeing light waves). She also said I was having racing thoughts, but I donāt remember having that,
I havenāt been sleeping well because of guilt. I was awake for 38 hours, then on Tuesday night, I had to take my Seroquel (300mg), 5mg of Haldol, and 0.5mg Ativan before I could finally fall asleep. I didnāt sleep last night, either. Itās about 6:30AM right now, and Iāve been awake for like 18 hours.
I hate to be that person, but I sort of wish it were mania, because at least then, Iād have some energy. But no, Iām just exhausted and canāt sleep because I feel like such an awful person. Itās all consuming.
edit: Does anyone else get weird movements with their schizophrenia?
Donāt be afraided, such things happen in this illness,
Stay away from outward world stimulants like TV or loud music or intense lights and also mystical books,
I feel like the weird part is that Iām not having any mood symptoms, as far as I can tell. Not a one. I feel fine other than being tired from lack of sleep, but apparently, things are pretty bad because my mom called my doctor yesterday morning. Iām not sure whatās going on or whatās going to happen. My mom was saying that I might have to go to the hospital again. I just hope I doāt have to.
No, not until my mom told me.
Thanks Gratitude. I know that I always say and think that Iām a bad person, but the rational part of me is pretty sure that Iām not. Itās just that āpretty sureā isnāt really good enough for me. And like, to me, I think that the feeling of being a bad person is more of a guilty feeling than a shameful one. I feel like a bad person when Iāve a) done something that a person who I might consider to be bad would do, b) I did something that I myself believe to be wrong, c) I did something that I imagine God would consider āsinful,ā or d) some combination of them all.
Some meds cause tics and tremors. Wellbutrin and Effexor did that to me. Parkinsonās can be something that does this and it can cause hallucinations and delusions. Maybe you should see a neurologist as well!
Friend. What do you mean nothing caused it? Your grandfather JUST died. You two were very close. Iām glad your mom is starting to take you seriously. Youāve been heading downhill for a while.
Side note: report those tics to your doctor ASAP. Itās probably just a weird symptom, but it could be a rare side effect called tardive dyskinesia. If you have that, you need your meds changed IMMEDIATELY.
Lol, Iām absolutely certain that I donāt have Parkinsonās.
My mom called my pdoc and Iām seeing him next week, but he said I donāt have TD. I took prn Haldol and it went away. It probably has something to do with how little Iāve been sleeping.
Thereās something called mixed states, which is like all the anxiety and insomnia of mania combined with the self-hatred and irritability of depression. Basically the worst of both worlds. I have only experienced it once, but they can be horrible.
Lack of sleep can be really detrimental. My advice is to try to get some good rest. As others have mentioned, itād be a good idea to notify your doctor. I hope you feel better soon circle!
Yes. I know what you are going through. Manic days are the worst. Try to use every relaxation technique you know. I was going through a similar stage and I told my doctor what was going on. He said: at least your house is clean right? I said: ummmmmm, actually noā¦oops Iām just doing stupid stuff. You should be crashing soon. I hope.
You should be crashing soon. I hope.