I haven’t really had any positive symptoms since going on modafinil. Maybe some thoughts that may be delusional but I’m not really sure. (I believe I am probably cut off from God because of the things I’ve done but I mean many non psychotic people think that)
My mood has still been bad. I wonder if the negative symptoms are all depression and I really don’t have psychosis at all, just had a sleep disorder mimicking it. I don’t know. This med has been acting more effective than most of the APs I’ve tried except maybe Risperidone. Crazy stuff.
I need to be on a proper antidepressant. Zoloft worked wonderfully for me but did long term/possibly permanent damage to my bladder. I’m on depakote now which definitely has reduced my mood swings and the intensity of my emotions but has not gotten rid of any of the bad ones so I’m just in this perpetual numb state where nothing is exciting or satisfying and life feels meaningless like I will never accomplish anything. The problem w my depression is it doesn’t always make sense and sometimes pops up even when life is going great for me.
So next time I see my pdoc I guess I’ll have to go on an AD. The question is would I still want to stay on depakote in that situation? I really don’t get mania I don’t think aside from that one time on geodon and I think that med just made me crazy.