Mixed feelings about drugs

Hate to be cynical but I have mixed feelings about normies doing drugs. Half of me wants to help them and get them (the nice ones) into AA. The other half of me says, “Good, let them do drugs. It eliminates the competition”.

When I was a sick schizophrenic living at home, I went to AA. My Dad told me I didn’t have to put anything in the collection basket. But just about everyone did put a little money in the basket, and I wanted to one of that group.

Some of my money was made working part time in a restaurant that served alcohol. Therefore, some of my pay was for doing things like taking a rack of glasses out to the bar so the bartender had clean glasses to serve alcoholic drinks. I was tickled that I was taking some money paid by boozers and throwing it into the collection plate at AA.

And my sponsor told me, “It is not good to be too different at AA.” I took that to mean if nearly everyone put a buck or two in to the basket, I would recover better if I put a buck or two into the basket as well.


My sis as many know is non-sz, she is still keeping strong in not drinking or doing drugs and her friends still treat her like a freak for not caving in. Sometimes I think it’s considered Normal to take drugs because almost all of her friends drink and smoke weed.

She even had a teacher giving her crap about not doing drugs and he almost failed her in the class for “bland writing.”

It KILLS me when our brother would tell her “If you don’t start drinking, we’ll have nothing in common and I’ll have no reason to talk to you” He tells her that. Maybe for “normal” people who don’t do drugs the pressure is too great.

It really hurt my heart the other day when I over heard her tell our Dad that she hates being a goody-two shoe freak but she’s too coward to try drugs and drinking.

I would have to say this is not just a SZ thing. There are so many times that I wish that I wasn’t an addict and that I could go out and get high with no consequences but I can’t because I’m an addict. Some people can drink and use drugs and walk away. Some of us can’t. Once addicted we are all lost in that addiction. It controls us no differently. I can only say from my own experience that my quest was not to make myself psychotic, while on occasion I did do exactly that, but instead to numb my own pain. To find a way to cope with things that I could not. To feel ok in a world where I did not feel ok or like I fit in. I can only say that we all struggle with wanting to be normal and fitting in. Rarely are things as they appear.


Who needs a brother like that? She has you. He’s a bad influence. It’s easy for me to sit here and say that, right? Everybody here is just seeing a small slice of your family life and after all, we don’t have the history you guys have. I didn’t grow up with you guys. When I was younger, I just assumed EVRYBODY smoked pot.I was flabbergasted when I met people who had never tried marijuana. Because everybody I knew, and almost everybody I came in contact with either drank, smoked pot, or did both. Not to mention other drugs. My friends, my classmates, my neighbors.ALL smoked pot. Take this with a grain of salt. I don’t see how your sister has resisted this long without caving. Fear can be a fine line. She is a neat, caring, smart, strong, person . I hope all her “friends” don’t corrupt her. It’s not that your brother or her friends are evil when they want her to join in with doing drugs. It’s just that, yes, most people who do drugs think that it is normal, and therefore don’t see anything wrong with talking other people into doing it. Remind your sister that addiction runs in your family, she has to be more careful than most other people when it comes to drugs.


Thank you for that. It does seem like everyone and their dog is smoking pot. Washington state just legalized it. So now it’s a gray area, not that illegal. I have no idea how she’s not caved in yet either. I’m glad she’s afraid. She knows addiction and mental illness run rampant through our family genes. She has read confession after confession here on this site and the last one… (I was fine until that very first puff, wish I never would have done it… ) That has made her stay strong I think. So I should be thanking the entire forum for this.

I don’t think my little brother is evil either, I just think he’s angry and he knows he can get under our sisters skin the fastest. They are much closer in age and much closer in capers. Those two were each other partner in crime. So I think he knows if he wants to hurt someone, she’s the easiest one to get to. He’s due out of rehab soon. We’ll see how that goes.

I hate to see normies doing drugs…drugs are just temporary psychosis-inducing, chemically speaking. I took an class called “drug and alcohol behavior” and I learned that drugs mostly simulate psychosis. I hate to hear about kids doing acid, its so stupid…I was in a crisis assessment center for one night over a year ago (I was unmedicated for schizophrenia, instead on antidepressants and extremely drunk) and most of the people there were on hallucinogens. It was sad to see normal people temporarily psychotic, I just wondered why the hell someone would do that. I’ve heard that they often have “happy” hallucinations but I have heard some horror stories about hallucinogens too. It’s just stupid to mess with a healthy brain in my opinion…dont fix it if it aint broke, and dont break it either…i mean really? I often go on rants about kids doing hallucinogens, it makes me sick to be honest.

But alot of my friends from high school have done hallucinogens. They often do them to “prove themselves” and show that they can “handle it” while tripping. They told me about some of the things they experienced, it sounded just like when I wasn’t on meds, it made them sound very very stupid. Drug free kids are hard to find. A couple of my friends are my workout buddies when they are in town on break, they are drug-free and have the same interests as me. Like for example, everyone was at a party getting f-ed up and my old buddy and I just went to the gym and watched an anime series that night instead…he’s korean so he and I both watch all the good anime shows and read the mangas.

Im lucky to have some friends who are straight. I dated a girl who was too into alcohol, on a date she asked me when the last time I was drunk was and I said “six months ago” and she quit dating me after that night. It’s sad to see so many young people live to get their brains messed up. All you can do is associate with the responsible moderate people or better yet the perfectly straight ones who only ingest caffeine and no other drugs.

I always end up giving a speech when it comes to the topic of drugs. I’ve been psychotic, which is like being on lsd and cocaine at the same time, and i just got traumatized by it. So, I really disapprove of normal people getting their brains messed up…they might lose control of themselves. I was used to being psychotic, I highly functioned while psychotic, but other people might just lose it if they have a bad trip and end up in a crisis assessment center.