Missing out on life's reward, of that you can be sure

That’s a line from Nik Kershaw’s song “Dancing girls”

And it’s been bugging me lately because that’s what I feel is happening.

I had to go out today and the weather was nice and pleasant.

I felt like I had my nose pressed against the glass looking into a world where I wasn’t allowed to participate.


i often feel the same way, i go back and forth from wanting to experience life and feeling like im missing out, to the opposite of that, being cared for in a hospital and escape life where i would appear normal.

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Those are my worst days when I’m so close I can smell it.

Normally I’m chasing irrational thoughts and such and I don’t really know WTF is going on

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