Sorry to hear @Dsyncd . It’s not easy, is it?
It’s called survivors guilt I had the same feeling but eventually I realized something would have happened no matter what I did he was going down a bad road and using way too much drugs
This must have been really hard. I’m so sorry
Definitely not easy but time heals all wounds just give it some time you won’t feel this way forever
I know you are right @Dsyncd he was pretty far gone into drug use, and in very poor health with a heart condition. It was a shock for a few days, but it’s not like I didn’t worry about him already
Thanks @TerezaF it tears me apart at times, to be honest
Don’t beat your self up about it doing that gets you nowhere and will just make you depressed
It’s not your fault. People get in squabbles all the time. It doesn’t mean one of them will commit suicide
I don’t think it was suicide. It may have been a heart attack due to accidental overdose. He did love his drugs @Zannah
Well regardless, it is absolutely not your fault at all.
Thanks @Zannah I’m trying to believe that.
im sorry for your loss.
sounds like you had a beautiful friendship.
i only have one human friend in a way and thats anders.
i call him on the phone sometimes.
we have known each other over 20 years.
my x in sa is more than friend somehow.
one of my best friends is a white dog who is dead and so graceful.
she is perhaps the most graceful being i ever met.
morticia Addams is graceful depending on who the actress is.
she is favourite depending on who actress is some actors no no no stay away while same character different vibe so to say.
i have another white dog who is daughter and a brown dog who is family although she wasnt the fondest of me.
i miss having friends i can chat with and hang out with.
because i am sober i dont meet people to be friends with easily.
i met a few woman last couple years that i love but they didnt want to stay in touch or be more than aquaintances.
i had a best friend but i was a bad friend to her and she was a bad friend to me but we always forgave each other but we just grew apart and have nothing to talk about etc anymore.
just dont seem to have connection.
anders and i love each other unconditionally.
he pushed me so i fell and called me horrible words.we were bad to each other but always forgave each other and cared for each other.
i am his only friend and in a way he is my only friend.
we live in different countries and he has no internet so the only contact we have is i call him once a month or so.
we talk about the same things really but its nice.
he is so thoughtful, caring, kind and he can be funny too.
he gave me quality time in a way i had never experienced til i met him.
when i was depressed he took me for a swim or bought me pizza.
he taught me how to jog and got me to go to the gym.
he deserves a better life than he has.
hope he gets his licence back and a nice car.
he deserves it.
we met at a psychiatric hospital.
i wish him laughter and better things.
@Cragger I won’t diminish your grief by telling a story of my own. Stay strong as you can, break down when you need to, grieve in your own way. I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you very much @iconoclast_01 . That’s pretty much what I’m doing, no other way about it
Thanks @SacredNeigh7 be well
I’m missing my friend like hell right now. I need his perspective something bad. There is a song that I wrote for my very first girlfriend, who died a few years ago. Now that song is about Dan now.
My ex-girlfriend, Michelle, was my best friend at one time. We were together for seven years, most of it good, but I messed it up in the end. That’s another story. When she passed away, it felt every bit as painful as if we had still being together. It was a powerful sensation
Somehow, Dan is even worse… We could talk to each other about anything, and I miss that so much right now. I’ve been talking to someone online for a while, and it helped a lot because we could have intelligent conversations, like Dan and I used to have. But I can’t hide from these feelings for long.
Here is a song that I wrote for Michelle, but now it reminds me of Dan so it is still relevant
Listen to No Way Home by David Cragg (Cragger) on #SoundCloud
No Way Home
Life has lost its flavour, the moon has lost its shine
Words without meaning cross my mind
Pounding on a drum, made of my own skin
Must be reflections, of the state I’m in
[ CHORUS ]
There is no way home from here, but I love you anyway
How long have I been gone, it’s hard to say
Give me one good reason, to try to love again
It’s so empty Here Without You, Now You’re Gone
It’ll take a Month of Sundays, to figure this all out
I’ve lost a friend and lover, to the dark
It’s not like it’s the first time, I ever thought about it
But losing you has burned a hole, through my heart
Thanks for the support everyone. I needed it